Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The demographic data of various developing countries illustrate discrepency in proportion of young individuals to elder citizens. Although, increase in younger population as compared to older folks have several benefits such as boost in economy and political engagement but it has a few setbacks too i-e unemployment and less facilities. In this essay, I will discuss these pros and cons and, how benefits of more youth in a country outweigh the disadvantages.

The youth of a country play a crucial role in economy as well as future of a country through political involvement. More younger adults means more workforce, as a result it will add to finances of country when they are involve in different buisenessess, technology, health, education, and social media etc. For example, India booming tech industory is adding a lot to their GDP. Similarly, overall modern generation adults believes in equality, humanity, and justice. Indeed, they stood, for instance, in the USA for palestian rights which shows they can bring changes in older regime. Thus, overall prosperity of a country depends majorly on yonger folks.

Regrettably, this disproportion can result in unemployment and less availability of facilities. If a country contain more young folks, it will need more jobs. Unfortunately, many of these developing countries are far behind their population requirement of education, health, infrastructure and employment. For instance, in Pakistan individuals are suffering in all above sectors and many more becuase of improper planning of government.Hence, if there is lack of proper planning, it can creates major issue.

In conclusion, pros of more younger adults in a nation in contrast to elder adults outweghs the cons. Overall, it boost economy and bring political changes in a society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and make your position clear: the benefits of a larger young-adult population outweigh the drawbacks. The economic contribution of a larger workforce and young people’s political engagement are relevant reasons, while unemployment and pressure on public services provide a suitable counterpoint. Examples from India and Pakistan help ground the discussion. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: the link between young people’s beliefs and political change, for example, would benefit from a clearer account of how this produces lasting advantages. The disadvantages are also less developed than the benefits. Explain more specifically how job shortages or limited services affect society, then compare their impact with the gains to make the weighing of advantages more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion that restates your view. This makes the argument easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “For example,” “Similarly,” and “In conclusion” to show relationships between ideas. At times, however, connections feel mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence of the benefits paragraph moves from economic contribution to political involvement without a clear transition, and “Thus, overall prosperity…” makes a broad conclusion from the preceding points. Some linking phrases are awkwardly punctuated, such as “Although,” and “Hence,”. Improve progression by linking each example directly to the claim it supports and using referencing or transitions more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “workforce,” “GDP,” “unemployment,” “infrastructure,” and “political involvement,” which allows you to discuss the issue clearly. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “disproportion” and “availability of facilities.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural collocations reduce accuracy: “discrepency,” “buisenessess,” “industory,” “yonger,” and “outweghs” are examples. Phrases such as “add to finances of country” and “less facilities” are also not idiomatic. Aim to check spelling carefully and choose standard collocations, for example, “contribute to the national economy” and “limited access to public services.” This would make your vocabulary more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in the introduction and conditional sentences such as “If a country contain more young folks, it will need more jobs.” These attempts help express relationships between ideas, and the overall meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries. For instance, “increase … have” should use a singular verb, “they are involve” needs a participle, and “it can creates” should use the base form after “can.” In “many … because of improper planning of government.Hence,” the sentence boundary and spacing also need correction. Review subject–verb agreement and modal verb patterns, and proofread punctuation so complex sentences remain controlled.

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