Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Yes, I agree that the advantages of this scenario will outwiegh the disadvantages.The current stuation shows tha in different countries the population of adults is more than the older ones.This will definetly beneficial for a nation and country to have larger number of youngers rather than having old people . It will bring prosperity in a country which will work with great potential.For example, Japan faces a major decline in the population of adults a

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You state a clear position—“the advantages … will outweigh the disadvantages”—and identify a potentially relevant benefit: a larger young-adult population could support national prosperity. However, the response does not develop this claim or explain any disadvantages, so it does not adequately answer the comparison in the question. The Japan example begins but is cut off, leaving its relevance and supporting detail unclear. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, which limits how fully you can explain and support your ideas. To improve, discuss at least one advantage and one disadvantage, explain why one side is stronger, and use a complete, relevant example to support your reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The opening gives the reader a basic direction: you agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, then introduce a possible benefit and an example. This provides a simple starting sequence, but the response ends before a clear line of argument or conclusion is established. Connections between ideas are limited; for instance, “This will definitely be beneficial” refers broadly to the population situation without specifying the mechanism, and “For example” introduces an unfinished Japan reference. There is no paragraph development to separate and organise the main points. Build a clear progression by presenting each argument in its own paragraph, using explicit links between claims and explanations, and finishing with a conclusion that restates your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “population,” “prosperity,” “potential,” and “decline,” and the reader can generally identify your intended subject. However, the range is narrow and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “older ones,” “youngers,” and “larger number of youngers.” Spelling errors in “outwiegh,” “stuation,” “tha,” and “definetly” also reduce accuracy and make the writing look less controlled. Aim for precise demographic terms and check spelling carefully. For example, “young adults” and “older people” are more natural than “youngers” and “older ones,” while “a larger proportion of young adults” expresses the population comparison more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes mostly simple sentence patterns, such as “Yes, I agree…” and “For example, Japan faces…,” with an attempt to connect ideas using “which.” This shows some ability to form complete clauses, but the range is limited and control is inconsistent. In “This will definitely beneficial,” the verb “be” is missing; “a larger number” also needs an article before the noun phrase, and the sentence beginning “For example” is left incomplete. Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, including the missing space after the first full stop. Practise building complete sentences with accurate verb forms and articles, then combine related ideas using controlled subordinate clauses.

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