Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the modern world see countries has a very large difference in the young adults,in some western countries the elderies are more ferquente and make the portion of the society,wherease in most african countries the number of young adults is very big ,and considerable compared to the population of the countries.

despite that fact ,but that is not always considered as advantageous ,since we can see that in the western countries ,let say the germany ,number of young people is relatively small compared to eldery ,but even with that we see it among the most advanced countries because it has smart system of managing ressources and implementing good technologies and also receiving each year considerable amount of young people ready to run the machines , and make the hard work done,and even take care of older people.

in the other side let's take a real example egypt ,despit its amazing geopolical position and high number of young adult but its status is considered a third world country or maybe less,since even with more than half its population is under 40 ,but it still cannot produce its own food and simple daily items,and life style is hard where some people still cannot afford even decent life and make small family ,also it has multiple problems in life ,like gas and petrol to run the cars and engins ,

electricity crises when in high demande like in last summer cuts off at least 3 to 6 hours a day and sometimes more

the country gdp is not growing and sometimes even shrinking,and lot of other problems

in conclusion the country human ressources are good for the developement and advancing ,but the minds that set the plans and the engineering that ran behind the scene of the country is more important to achieve real success

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a relevant position: the conclusion argues that capable leadership and planning matter more than a large young population, and the Germany–Egypt comparison supports this view. The examples of employment, care for older people, food production and electricity make the discussion relevant to the question. However, the response does not clearly weigh the advantages against the disadvantages throughout. The opening mainly contrasts countries by age profile, while the body focuses on national development and gives little direct explanation of the disadvantages of having many young adults. Several claims about Egypt are listed rather than explained, so the reasoning remains under-developed. State your answer to “outweigh” clearly in the introduction, then develop and compare specific benefits and costs before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a recognisable overall shape, with an opening, two country examples and a conclusion, and the Germany-to-Egypt contrast gives the response a basic organising idea. Some linking expressions, such as “despite that fact” and “in conclusion,” signal relationships between points. However, progression is difficult to follow because the opening sentence combines several claims, and the main paragraphs are not clearly separated into distinct arguments. Connectors are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, as in “despite that fact, but,” and the long Egypt discussion moves from food to living standards, fuel, electricity and GDP without showing how each point supports the comparison. Use clear topic sentences and divide the examples into shorter, logically ordered paragraphs, with references that make each comparison explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “population,” “advanced countries,” “implementing,” “geopolitical position” and “GDP.” This gives you some means of discussing demographics and development. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “country,” “number,” “problems” and “good,” while several spelling and word-choice errors make parts harder to understand: “elderies,” “ferquente,” “ressources” and “high demande.” Some combinations are also unnatural, for example “make the portion of the society” and “the minds that set the plans.” Aim for accurate, topic-specific phrases such as “age structure,” “working-age population” and “public services,” and check spelling and collocation carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish demographic advantages from economic outcomes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, including the contrast beginning “despite that fact” and the explanation of Egypt’s challenges. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence formation and punctuation can make the argument difficult to follow. For example, “In the modern world see countries has” lacks a clear grammatical subject and correct verb agreement, while “even with more than half its population is under 40” combines incompatible structures. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “let say the germany” and the extended sentence about electricity cuts. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and full stops when editing.

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