Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the contemporary world, population has become an increasingly significant issue that attracts the public attention. Currently, the citizens of various countries constitute a relatively greater number of young people in contrast with the number of older people. From my perspective, advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

Firstly, young people play a vital role in our society because they can work on construction site and they are able to build buildings and can do heavy weight work. For instance, young adults contribute to construction more than other people. As a result, they create kinds of beautiful and historical buildings and houses as well. Secondly, younger people are generally more familiar with technology, and they know to use new type of technology according to their work. To illustrate, in the world of artificial intelligence, adults work better in their fields and develop greater employment opportunities.

Thirdly, younger people are more energetic, and they have a great freedom to do that kind of work which are more essential for our daily life. For example, adults know about today's demands, and they work effectively according to the requirements of society. As a result, they increase productivity which leads our country towards more development. Moreover, if young adults start work with passion, they can make our country independent because there are some things that we take them from other countries. Like if adults work hardly, we did not need to take more things from others. Consequently, our country will become more independent.

While older people have more experience about work. Whereas, younger people don't have more experience.

In conclusion, adults play a significant role in construction. Also, they are more familiar with the technology.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is stated clearly in the introduction: you believe the advantages of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages. You give relevant benefits, including physical work, familiarity with technology, energy and productivity. However, the response addresses the comparison only partially. The disadvantages are reduced to one brief sentence about older people having more experience, with no explanation of why this matters or how it compares with the benefits. Several supporting points also remain general: for example, the claim that young adults make a country independent is not illustrated with a specific example. Develop both sides and explain why the advantages are more significant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, a body and a conclusion, and signposting such as “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify the main points. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear. The body moves through several benefits in one long paragraph, while the counterargument appears as a short, disconnected statement beginning “While older people… Whereas…”. The conclusion repeats two earlier benefits but does not clearly weigh them against the disadvantage or restate the comparison. Some linking phrases, including repeated “As a result” and “For instance,” feel mechanical. Use separate paragraphs for the main advantages and the counterargument, and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “productivity,” “employment opportunities,” “artificial intelligence” and “independent,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated basic terms such as “young people,” “work” and “country,” and several word combinations are unnatural or imprecise. For example, “heavy weight work,” “great freedom to do that kind of work” and “work hardly” do not express the intended meanings naturally. “Historical buildings” also seems an unclear description of buildings young workers create. Aim for more precise collocations and vary references to young adults. The suggestions below offer alternatives that better fit the ideas you are expressing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences using clauses and connectors, such as “Moreover, if young adults start work with passion, they can make our country independent,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in sentence structure, agreement and verb forms, and they sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “work which are more essential” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “if adults work hardly, we did not need” has an incorrect adverb and an inconsistent conditional verb form. The fragment-like contrast “While older people have more experience about work. Whereas…” also needs to be joined into a complete sentence. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences with controlled clauses and consistent tense.

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