Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent time, population of youths in my many countries are greater than the elderly people. While this trend offers some benefits, it can also bring notable drawbacks. Personal I believe the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage because creativity will be promoted and governments will be able to focus on other area.

On the one hand, the negative impact of having a population where younger adults are numerous than the older people is lost of cultural belief and devalue of moral. Firstly, aged populations are the ones that teach younger generations about their historical values, so if there number decreases younger adults won't be able to conserve their cultural. Secondly, elders are the one responsible for upholding integrity in the community and they also teaches children to develop to someone that will be morallly upright. For instance, if some group of people are still to fighting, older youth knows to settle quarrel so that peace can reign.

On the other hand, I believe this trend have greater advantage is because youth are the spirit of innovation and creativity. This means when there is higher number of youths, creativities will also increase because their brain is still active. As a result, they can they can boost the country economic and build great machine using their innovative mind. Another major reason is that government will be able to direct funds into other sectors rather than spending money on the health and well being of the elders. For example, if the number of the elders are numerous, government wont have a choice that to take care of them instead diverting the money into other relevance sectors.

In conclusin, although having a population where the youth are numerous than the elderly ones have some demmerit such as lost of traditional belief and decrease the moral value of the society, I believe this trend is largely postive because innovation will increase and governement will be able to spend on other areas rather than funding the health of older adult.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of innovation and government spending is relevant, and you give examples to support these points. This shows a solid response to the task. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. The claim that a younger population will increase creativity is asserted rather than illustrated with a specific example, while the point about elders preserving cultural values is explained more clearly. The argument about public spending also needs qualification: explain why resources could be redirected and acknowledge that younger populations still require public investment, such as in education and employment. Developing these points would make the comparison more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. Signposting such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the contrast, and the main ideas generally progress in a logical order. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. For example, “For instance, if some group of people are still to fighting” is difficult to connect to the point about elders teaching moral values. Repeated transitions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Another major reason” also make the organisation somewhat mechanical. Use clearer references and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “historical values,” “integrity,” “innovation,” and “diverting the money.” These choices show some range, but inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make meaning less clear. Examples include “lost of cultural belief,” “devalue of moral,” “creativities,” and “relevance sectors”; more natural forms would be “loss of cultural beliefs,” “decline in moral values,” “creativity,” and “relevant sectors.” There are also spelling errors such as “conclusin,” “demmerit,” and “governement.” Aim to learn vocabulary in common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms carefully, rather than relying on direct or repeated phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if there number decreases” and a reason clause beginning “because.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “population … are greater” has a singular subject with a plural verb, and “this trend have greater advantage” needs a matching verb and article. In “they can they can boost,” a repeated phrase disrupts the sentence, while “government wont have a choice that to take care” shows an inaccurate clause pattern. Practise checking each sentence for subject–verb agreement and complete, correctly linked clauses; this will help you use complex structures more reliably.

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