Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

RIGHT NOW THIS IS A COMMON THING THAT ALL OVER THE WORLD AND IN SOME VARIOUS COUNTRIES THERE IS A LARGE GROW OF THE YOUNG ADULT. CPMPERED WITH THE AMMOUNT OF OLDER PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW THERE IS MORE ADULTS THAN OLDER PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THE POPULATION IS SIGNIFICANTLLY GROWING.AND I THINK IT IS A POSITIVE SIDE,BECAUSE ADULTS ARE THE FUTURE.IF A COUNTRY CAN MAKE USE OF THEIRE YOUNG ADULTS,THEY CAN DEFFINETLY BECOME THE TRSSURE OF A COUNTRY. AND REASON OF THAT IS YOUNG PEOPLES CAN DO RELATIVLY MORE THINGS ALSO THEY CAN ADAPT SOMETHING NEW VERY FIRST.BRAIN OF A YOUNG ADULT CAN MENAGE MUCH MORE WORKLODE.ALSO WITH THE PHYSICAL DURABILITY THEY ARE MUCH AHEAD.

ON THE OTHER HAND THE REASON THAT COMPERING TO THE ADULT THE NUMBER OF OLDER PEOPLE IS REDUCING BECAUSE OF THE LATE AGE THEY ARE HAVING.AND ALSO MANY PEOPLE IS NOT BE ABLE TO DO THE STUFFS THEY ONCE USED T DO.MANY OLD PEOPLES ARE DYING BECAUSE OF THIER OLD AGE.ALSO FOR OLDER PEOPLES THERE IS NOT MUCH OPPORTUNITY.SO AT THEIR OLD AGE THEY HAVE TO DEPENDS ON THE CHILDRENES.

BUT ALL OF THAT,OLD PEOPLES HAVE THE EXPERIANCE OF LIVING A LIFE MORE THAN THE YOUNG GENARATION. SO THERE ARE ALSO ADVANTAGE OF GETTING ADVICE FROM OLD.BUT AS FOR THE PHYSICAL ABILITY AND THE DURABILITY THAT THE YOUNG ADULTS GOT IS REALLY GOOD FOR A COUNTRY FOR GET USE OF THEM.SO ALL OVER THAT SITUATION I DONT THINK THAT THIS OUTWIIGH THE DISADVANTAGE. AND BOTH IS IMPORTANT

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a position that a large young-adult population is beneficial, and you give relevant reasons: young people can contribute physically and adapt to new things, while older people offer life experience. However, the response only partially develops the comparison required by the question. The discussion of older people focuses mainly on ageing, death and dependence, rather than clearly weighing the disadvantages of having fewer older people against the benefits of a younger population. Your conclusion, “I dont think that this outweigh the disadvantage,” is also unclear and appears to conflict with your earlier claim that the situation is positive. State your judgement consistently and explain which side is stronger, using a specific example to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an opening, discussion of young adults, discussion of older people, and a final comparison. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression between ideas is often difficult to follow, and several points are joined mechanically with “also” and “and.” For example, the paragraph about older people moves from their age to reduced ability, death and lack of opportunity without explaining how these points answer the question. The final paragraph introduces the value of older people’s experience but does not clearly connect it to the conclusion. Use clearer topic sentences, group related points, and add linking phrases that show contrast and cause rather than repeating the same connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “adapt,” “physical durability,” “experience” and “advice,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand. Examples include “large grow,” “theire,” “worklode,” “treasure of a country” and “depends on the childrens.” Some expressions, such as “do the stuffs” and “get use of them,” are also imprecise or unnatural. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise wording would help you explain contributions, social support and the value of experience without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, such as “because adults are the future” and “If a country can make use of their young adults, they can definitely become…” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the range remains limited and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and sentence construction appear in “there is more adults,” “many people is not be able,” and “the number of older people is reducing because of the late age they are having.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, with several ideas joined by full stops or commas in ways that interrupt meaning. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences around one clear main clause, checking that each clause is complete.

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