Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In some countries, the number of young adults has exceed the population of older people. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages of growing number of young individuals in the country. In my opinion, the person's abilities must not be judged by the age difference. Both the young and elders have their own unique traits developed throughout their lifespan.
In some countries young people are living in larger number than others. The youngsters in their life time have more energy and time to cope with the challenging situations of their lives. They bring greater benefits to the economy of the country by contributing actively in different aspects of finance and marketing. For example, there are jobs in a society such as sports, military that require dynamic people. Although, they are energetic and active participants in society, they always need guidance of elder people.
On the other hand, the elder people are more experienced generation who have been through hardest jobs, and worked in a fewer comfortable environment as there were less facilities. For instance, the retired teachers of my school had spend approximately fourty years providing service. During that span they had learned to overcome difficult situation and to be determined in a challenging situations. They have contributed to the welfare of a country by providing their knowledge and skills to the generations. If in a state there are young dominant people, the society as a whole can collapse by bringing cast, cultural and race differences.
In conclusion, I believe there are certain benefits of young individuals in a society ,and they can perform jobs that need strength and stability. However, the elder people have been through challenging times when there were less facilities and their advice and guidance supporting the experience is beneficial for society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response discusses both potential benefits of a younger population and the contribution of older people, and it gives relevant examples, such as physically demanding jobs and retired teachers’ experience. However, it does not clearly answer the central question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The introduction instead says age should not determine a person’s abilities, while the conclusion acknowledges benefits on both sides without making a definite comparison or judgement. Some claims also need clearer explanation: for example, the suggestion that a young-dominant society may collapse because of cultural or racial differences is not convincingly linked to the age balance. State your position directly and develop the comparison with specific reasons and support.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate discussion of younger and older people, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, the progression is not always clear: the opening says age should not determine ability, but the body shifts to comparing generations without consistently connecting this to the question of which side has greater advantages. Some links between claims are abrupt, particularly the move from older people’s experience to the possibility of social collapse. Improve cohesion by making each paragraph support one clear point and using explicit comparisons between the benefits and drawbacks.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “contributing actively,” “guidance,” “determined,” and “welfare,” which helps communicate ideas about work and society. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “dynamic people” and “challenging situations.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, including “larger number than others,” “a fewer comfortable environment,” and “young dominant people.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “fourty” and “cast” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural phrases and check whether each word expresses the intended meaning; for example, distinguish “caste” from “cast” and use “a less comfortable environment.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “If,” and most ideas remain understandable. However, errors occur across verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “has exceed” instead of “has exceeded,” “the elder people are more experienced generation,” and “the retired teachers … had spend.” The sentence beginning “Although, they are energetic” also uses punctuation incorrectly and leaves the contrast awkwardly attached. Review past and present verb forms, singular and plural agreement, and article use. Building accurate sentences first, then adding subordinate clauses, will help you express the comparisons more clearly.
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