Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Population of a country is considered as an asset who will help to build up a nation. Currently, some nations have larger young generations rather then the elderly citizen. It can be considered that this situation has more merits in compare to demerits, because youth have much stronger and couragious and they have a desire in their life. On the other hand, older peole have become lose their ability to work and vulnarable to various diseases.

Several factors are related that young people are very precious for a nation. First and foremost , youth is a stage of life where people

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a position, saying the situation has “more merits in compare to demerits,” and you begin to contrast young adults’ potential with older people’s health and work capacity. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain the advantages in detail, develop the disadvantages, or weigh the two sides with supporting examples. The final sentence is unfinished (“people…”), so the argument stops before it can be completed. The response also contains 101 words, below the required 250, which leaves the task substantially incomplete. To improve, state your position clearly, develop at least one advantage and one disadvantage with explanations and examples, and finish with a conclusion that directly answers whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the topic and your view, while “On the other hand” signals a contrast and “First and foremost” begins a supporting point. These markers show an awareness of how to connect ideas. However, there is no clear overall progression because the response ends midway through a sentence and does not develop the announced point or reach a conclusion. The contrast is also not followed by a balanced discussion, and the relationship between the claims is sometimes unclear. Use separate paragraphs for your position, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one main idea with a clear explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “population,” “nation,” “elderly,” “ability to work,” and “diseases,” so the reader can identify the subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, which makes parts of the response difficult to understand. For example, “more merits in compare to demerits” is not a natural comparison, and “older peole have become lose their ability” does not express the intended meaning clearly. There are also spelling errors such as “couragious,” “vulnarable,” and “peole.” Build a wider set of accurate phrases for discussing employment, economic contribution, healthcare costs, and dependency, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes a few attempts at longer structures, such as “It can be considered that this situation has…” and the contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, the range remains limited, and errors in sentence construction and verb forms frequently make the meaning unclear. In “older peole have become lose their ability to work,” the verb pattern is faulty; “people” is also used with inconsistent number and agreement in phrases such as “youth is” and “they have.” The final sentence is incomplete, ending with “people.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check verb patterns and agreement. Aim to use a controlled mix of simple and complex sentences rather than extending sentences before their grammar is secure.

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