Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Is it often argued that at the present time, young people adults population increased dramatically in many countries. Despite, a lot of individuals think that this trend will have negatiev effects. I believe that it can be more beneficial if teenagers use their intelligence wisely.

Some people argue that having a major population of young adults can be advantageous, and I completly argee with this opinion. Firstly, I believe that this trend have a lot of benefits since teenagers of this generation can help both of the society and gouvernment to develop easily and rapidly. Due to the fact that they have strong skills and knowledge on the Internet, and they may use it positively. As a result young people will be more productive and motivated to work. For instance, nowadays most ofm people use the Internet to order food, clothers, or materials that they need in their daily lives and teenagers will delivery their orders as soon as possible.

On the other hand there are some individuals who believe that if the population of countries includes an increase in the number of young adults can have a lot of drawbacks and negative aspects. One of the main reasons, is that they think that this generation is addicted to the technology. Because both of children and adults use their phones in almost every situations of their daily lives even the basic ones. For this reason, they could not be responable enough. For example, this addiction can reduce their productivity and social interactions.

In conclusion, on the one hand in my opinion the rose of the population of young adults can have numerous benefits onely if they think in a good way for their future. On the other hand, there are some people who blieve that this topic can be dangerous, and that young adults are not mature enough.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a relevant position: you generally favour a large young-adult population, while acknowledging possible disadvantages. The response also gives reasons and examples, such as young people’s digital skills and concerns about technology use. However, the comparison needed to answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is not fully developed. The benefits paragraph focuses mainly on online ordering and delivery, while the drawback is described broadly as reduced responsibility, productivity, and social interaction. The conclusion repeats both sides but does not clearly weigh them or explain why one is more significant. Develop each side with more specific consequences, then state explicitly which outweighs the other and why.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This makes the main direction easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion.” At times, however, the links feel mechanical or the relationship between ideas is unclear. For example, “Due to the fact that they have strong skills…” is left as a sentence fragment, and “For this reason” does not clearly explain how phone use makes young people less responsible. The conclusion also introduces a contrast without resolving it. Use complete sentences and make each linking phrase show a precise cause, contrast, or result.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “population,” “advantages,” “drawbacks,” “productivity,” and “social interactions.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “strong skills and knowledge on the Internet.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “negatiev,” “completly,” “gouvernment,” “responable,” and “blieve.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “young people adults population” and “the rose of the population.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing broad or awkward wording with precise terms will make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “since,” “if,” and “because,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction, agreement, and verb forms occur across the response. For example, “this trend have” should use a singular verb, while “if the population … includes an increase … can have” does not form a complete, well-structured clause. “Due to the fact that…” is also a fragment in its current position, and “in almost every situations” has an agreement error. Work on building complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and plural forms. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex ideas easier to follow.

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