Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's the number of young people are significantly increasing than the older ages in some countries. I believe that increament of younger peoples playing a crucial impact on society and in development of a country.

In todays fast-paced era, larger population of younger peoples deliver outclass performances in every sector of country for development like in education, social events and in development sector. As younger lives are equipped with modern learnings that are benficial for development of country and also the life in between 25-35 have courage and determination for development so they use thair cognetive skills and newly modern skills to cope any problem . for instance young people have confidence to try new ideas that benfits society and avoids old traditions and thinkings that helps many people to broden their ways of thinking and help to build a healthy lifestyles.

where as older ages belief in forefathers traditions to answer any upcoming situation however they are experienced. moreover a large population of older ages if stutated in development sector of country they might bound the younger ones to replace it which are capable to bring new ideas for prosperity. for instance during world war 2 germany losted many lives of young peoples which in result carry the absence for next few decades in development sector so they invite number of younger people from different countries so they can work and help to build a strong foundation.

In conclusion older ages play important role in terms of loyalty, older ways of ideas implementation for the development and provide experience to the younger one but younger ages have ability to deal with many problems at same time with modern state of mind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a position in favour of a larger young population, and the discussion of innovation, skills and older people’s experience is relevant to the question. However, the comparison of advantages and disadvantages is not fully developed: most of the essay argues for young people, while the disadvantages of an ageing or older population are only briefly implied through claims about tradition and limiting younger workers. The World War II example is difficult to connect clearly to the question, and its relevance to the present-day situation is not explained. The conclusion summarises contrasting qualities but does not explicitly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Develop a clearer comparison and support it with a directly relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main focus generally moves from young people’s contributions to older people’s role. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims and examples are joined in long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the first body paragraph moves from education and development to confidence, traditions and healthy lifestyles without clearly showing how each point supports the argument. Connectors such as “where as” and “moreover” are used, but the relationships between ideas are not always clear, and the second example is not smoothly linked to the main point. Use clearer topic sentences and divide complex points into shorter, logically ordered sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “cognitive skills,” “determination,” “prosperity” and “foundation,” which helps convey ideas about development. However, the range is limited by repeated or imprecise expressions such as “younger peoples,” “older ages” and “development sector.” Several word-choice, word-form and spelling errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, including “increament,” “benficial,” “thair,” “cognetive,” “stutated” and “losted.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “deliver outclass performances” and “bound the younger ones to replace it.” Build accuracy by learning common collocations for population, employment and social development, and proofread spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “that,” “which” and “so,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in sentence structure and agreement appear in the opening, “the number of young people are significantly increasing,” and in constructions such as “larger population of younger peoples deliver.” Articles and plurals are also often missing or incorrectly used, while some sentences run together without clear punctuation, particularly the long sentence beginning “for instance young people have confidence.” These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas hard to follow. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and use full stops to separate complete ideas. Then add complex clauses only where you can control their structure and punctuation.

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