Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries now a days there is a large proportion of young adults rather than old adults which has its challenges but in my opinion the advantages are greater than as young adults are more trained physically and mentally ready.

One of the major advantages the young adults can have is that large number of adults can strengthen the workforce as they can work more hours and they are interested in learning new skills and activities which can be plus point and it can also help a business a lot with the skills etc.

Furthermore more population of young adults can be useful for the governments as they can collect more taxes hence which they can later invest in to public service or transport which can be step towards development, for example country with a high proportion of young adults can benefit from there skill which can later lead to economic development of that country.

In my opinion young adults can play big role in a countries development due to their advanced skills.

However there are cons towards this approach as the young population will rise there will be more competition towards employment hence which could later lead towards unemployment furthermore the government will have to make more school, universities for students which will cost a fortune, for example if there is unemployment in a country the government will have to take measures to make training centres in order to meet the skill which will be very costly. Further which could develop social problems in future.

In my opinion more competition towards job market i young adults can be major problem which leads to unemployment.

In conclusion i believe that larger population of young adults may lead to problems such as unemployment but the benefits completely outweigh the cons of it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: the advantages of a youthful population outweigh the disadvantages. Relevant points include a larger workforce, tax revenue and possible unemployment or pressure on education services. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that young adults can “work more hours” and learn skills could be linked more clearly to productivity or economic growth. The discussion of public services also needs more precise development, and the conclusion repeats the position without drawing together the main reasons. To strengthen the response, explain the effects of each point and make the comparison between benefits and costs more explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs presenting benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “However” helps the reader follow the shift to disadvantages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several linking expressions are awkward or repetitive, such as “hence which” and “Further which.” The sentence beginning “In my opinion young adults can play big role” interrupts the benefits discussion rather than developing it. Some references, including “this approach” and “which,” do not clearly identify the idea they refer to. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and exemplify it, using fewer but more accurate transitions and clearer referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “workforce,” “taxes,” “public service,” “unemployment” and “economic development,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “a major advantage.” However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise: “young adults” and “large number” recur, while phrases such as “skills etc.” and “cost a fortune” are vague or informal for this essay. Some word forms and collocations are inaccurate, including “more population” and “a plus point.” Spelling and apostrophe errors, such as “now a days” and “there skill,” also reduce control. Aim for precise collocations and vary references to the population without sacrificing clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “as,” “which” and “if.” This shows an effort to express causes and consequences, but control is inconsistent, and several sentences become difficult to follow. For example, “which has its challenges but in my opinion the advantages are greater than as…” contains an incomplete comparison and unclear clause structure. There are also errors in articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “large number of adults can strengthen” and “the government will have to make more school.” Punctuation is often missing, creating run-on sentences. Use shorter, complete sentences when needed, and check each clause for a clear subject and verb before adding subordinate clauses.

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