Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, population of young adults is quite more and it is compared with the number of older people. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits in upcoming paragraphs. From my point of view the advantages of this statement outweight the disadvantages and the same will be discussed. This essay will discuss the main point with explaination and examples in the simple and clear ways.

To begin with, discussing the merits of the statement which is very important for the upcoming population. Firstly, young adults people is more than older people so, the population of the world will increase with increase time. Older people do less work as compared to the young adults and they have simple technology has compared to young adults people. Young adults people are more confident than older people and also they can do more work with great speed.

Furthermore, discussing the demerits of the statement which cannot be denied and needs to be looked at carefully. Basically, Older people have more knowledge and great experience as compared to young adults people. Older people can make work esay and fast with there knowledge and experience. Young people have new technology and machine, but they also have more diseases. Older people work hard as compared to young adults people.

In conclusion, after looking at the main points, it is clear that the advantages will outweight the disadvantages. The advantages are more technology and faster work, while the demerits are hard work which cannot be ignored. So, it is clear that young people have technology and machines, while older people have experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you mention relevant points on both sides, including young adults’ speed and familiarity with technology and older people’s experience. However, the response only partially develops the comparison the question asks for. Claims such as “the population of the world will increase” and “they also have more diseases” are not explained or supported, and the link between a larger young population and the stated benefits remains unclear. The conclusion repeats the position but does not weigh the effects in a convincing way. To strengthen the response, explain how a larger working-age population benefits society, then compare this with specific costs, such as pressure on employment or public services, using relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify these sections. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: several points are listed without showing how they connect, and the repeated framing phrases (“discussing the merits/demerits”) make the organisation feel mechanical. The conclusion also repeats ideas rather than bringing the comparison together. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main argument, then develop it with an explanation or example. Clearer links between claims—for instance, how technology improves productivity—would make the overall line of reasoning easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “technology,” “knowledge,” “experience,” and “advantages” and “disadvantages,” so the main topic is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is limited and repetitive, especially in repeated phrases such as “young adults people” and “older people.” Several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “quite more,” “simple technology,” and “make work easy and fast.” There are also spelling errors such as “outweight,” “explaination,” and “esay,” which reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for discussing population and employment, and check common collocations and spelling. For example, describe a “larger working-age population” and explain that experience can “improve efficiency” rather than saying it makes work easy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a contrast with “while” and a reason introduced by “so.” However, the range is limited, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and sentence construction appear in examples such as “young adults people is more” and “Older people do less work … and they have simple technology has compared to young adults people.” Articles and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the opening “Nowadays, population…” and the comma after “so.” These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to interpret. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences from a clear main clause plus one supporting clause; then check articles and punctuation.

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