Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

population have inrased very rapidly as in the past population was not that much of asn issue but after 1900 the world has became a global village and also technology has revolutionalized, overpopulation has became a threat to human kind, young adults are thrice in numbers as of older people. even if wwe just take pakistan and india as an example overall popution is over billion and about 80million of these people are young adults. when such adults are there this reduces the chances of getting jobs becuase jobs are not increased in such fast speed as yound adults or overall population so we can say the more young people there are the more oppurtunities there should be for them to survive.

when population increases poverty inceases as well, In under developed countries the more young people there are, there are less opportunities for them to grow and earn a living,

if we take the example of pakistan, there are more young people thenold people but very less opportunities for them so they are moving to other countries for seeking jobs and earn a better living so we can say if pakistan had done something to control this overpopulation all youngsters who thaugth to go abroad would have happily lived here, just because due to less jobs and oppurtunities such actions are being taken by adult.

here also comes a Governments flaw that they should have understood it already what is going to happen and where this overpopulation thing is going

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify relevant disadvantages, especially pressure on employment and poverty, and the Pakistan example gives the discussion a concrete focus. However, the response does not clearly answer the central question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: it mainly argues that a large young population creates problems, without explaining any advantages or stating a balanced, explicit overall judgement. Several claims, such as the figures about India and Pakistan, are not clearly explained or connected to the argument. To strengthen the response, state your position directly in the introduction and conclusion, then develop both advantages and disadvantages with specific reasoning and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some grouping of related ideas: employment and poverty are discussed before the example of young Pakistanis seeking work abroad. Linking expressions such as “when population increases” and “if we take the example of Pakistan” also show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the response has little clear overall progression, and the opening combines several claims without showing how they relate to the question. Paragraphing is limited, while repeated references to population, jobs and opportunities make the argument feel circular. Some connections are unclear, particularly the shift from the global population to the figures for India and Pakistan. Organise the essay into distinct paragraphs for your position, each side of the comparison, and the conclusion, using clear links between them.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “overpopulation,” “poverty,” “opportunities,” and “earn a living,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “young people,” “jobs,” and “opportunities.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, such as “revolutionalized,” “thaugth,” and “actions are being taken by adult,” which can make parts of the message difficult to interpret. Some combinations are unnatural, for example “jobs are not increased in such fast speed.” Build a more precise range for discussing demographics and employment, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts longer sentences with clauses introduced by “when,” “because,” and “if,” showing some effort to use more than simple sentence patterns. However, these complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors can make the reader work to understand the meaning. Examples include “population have increased,” “the world has became,” and “there are less opportunities”; these show problems with subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and countable nouns. Several sentences also run together without clear punctuation, particularly the opening and the final paragraph. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using subordinate clauses. Pay particular attention to verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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