Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In nowdays, the peoples in many countries includes a relatively large amount of young adults. They have more advanteges as compare to disadvantages. Fistly the young peoples have perform good work in short time and help in economy groth.

On the one hand, the advantages of large amount of young adults. The youngs peoples have very active and more modran minded. The young people have good memory and young people make every thing modren and advance. For example the young people make telephone, televosion, and automobiles. The young people give more opportunites and benifites for society and country.

On the second hand, the young adults provide more benifits of our country young adults particpate in more games and other tournaments and other leagues and other world cups these are opportunites are make country respect in all world as compare to education department the peoples are make world record in our country and all world many countries. On this way, the particpent are won the cash prices and gold medals.

There have been many disadvantages of lage amount of young peoples. The Government face many challenges in provide hospitals, schools, colleges, and universityes. The most important thing the government face challanges in provide job's for all peoples.

In conclusion, the population of some countries includes a relatives large number of young people. They have more advantages as compare the disadvantages, the young people provide economy benifites, and country name famus in all world and gives the more opportunites in tecnologyes, on the other hand, they have government face challanges in hospitals schools universites and give a jod of young peoples.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you identify relevant points such as young adults contributing to the economy and the government needing to provide jobs and services. However, the response addresses the question only partially because the advantages are asserted more than explained. For instance, the claims that young people “make every thing modren” and bring respect through sports are not clearly connected to why a youthful population benefits a country. The disadvantages paragraph names pressure on hospitals, education and employment, but does not explain their effects or compare their importance with the benefits. Develop fewer points with specific reasoning or examples, and make the weighing of advantages against disadvantages clearer throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, and phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the second hand,” and “In conclusion” signal stages of the discussion. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the second body paragraph repeats the advantages rather than presenting a distinct side, despite its opening transition. Ideas within paragraphs are often listed without showing how they relate: the discussion moves from sports to education records, prizes and national respect. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, and references such as “these are opportunites” are unclear. Organise the body around one paragraph for benefits and one for drawbacks, then use clear topic sentences and links that explain cause and effect.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “economy,” “government,” “hospitals,” “universities,” “tournaments” and “gold medals,” so the general subject is usually identifiable. However, vocabulary is limited and repetitive: “young people” and “benefits” recur frequently, while several word choices or collocations make meaning less clear, such as “make country respect” and “cash prices.” Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “advanteges,” “modran,” “opportunites” and “tecnologyes.” These issues sometimes make the reader work to understand your point. Build a wider range of accurate phrases for employment, public services and economic contribution, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, and the response is generally recognisable despite frequent grammatical problems. However, the range of structures is limited, and attempts to connect several ideas often produce faulty sentences. For example, “the population … includes” is followed by “They have,” creating unclear agreement and reference, while “the young adults provide more benifits of our country young adults particpate” lacks a clear sentence boundary and grammatical structure. Errors also occur with articles, plurals and verb forms, as in “a relatively large amount” and “the young people have very active.” These patterns can make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled clauses and check agreement, articles and punctuation.

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