Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, many nations have been experienced with a huge number of young population which has more advantages for its future economy and development comparing to having the older people. Young people are considered as asset for the possibility of hope and aspiration for future.

Generally, a considerable number of people think that older people living in the socity is one kind of burden as they have no energy in workplace or home. On the other hand, having more young generation has many positive benefits. Manpower is the source of production which comes from this age group. Basically, National income and Per capita of a county mainly depend on Gross Domestic Production(GDP) which is emerged from skilled and intellectual labours. If most workers are not capable of efficient work, it will collaspe national budget. Therefore, many countries are facing challenges because of lack of sufficient workers. For instance, Japan which is one of most economic powerful country in the world which is losing its growing economy as they have enough shortage of young people. As a result, government is encourging in order to increase population giving various incentives to its citizen.

Furthermore, as young generation is more energetic and innovative, they can adjust them with new technology which may trigger a country into digital and innovative. If nations engage their teenegers properly, they could boost prosperity as well as economic development. For example, Israel invested a large amount of its budget for the wellbeing their children especially in IT sectors. Therefore, Israel is now regarded as top ranking country in IT farms in the world. Apart from that, young people can take more risks and resposibilities than older. By contrast, I think older people should be treated with high respects by all because they have also many contributions to the society.

Last but not least, I believe that young generation may bring true happiness and sucess both in the society and family if states take duties to educate and train them properly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that a larger young population brings more benefits, especially through workforce capacity, innovation and economic growth. These points are relevant, and the examples of Japan and Israel help illustrate them. You also acknowledge older people’s contributions, which adds some balance. However, the comparison of advantages and disadvantages is not fully developed: the disadvantage is mainly presented as older people being a burden, rather than examining the costs or challenges of a youthful population. Some claims, such as young people bringing “true happiness,” are asserted without explanation. Develop both sides more evenly and make the final judgement explicitly weigh the benefits against the drawbacks to strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs present economic and technological benefits, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “Furthermore” and “As a result” help readers follow the argument, and the examples are placed alongside relevant points. To make the progression more consistently clear, give each paragraph a sharper central purpose: the discussion of older people’s disadvantages is brief and then shifts quickly to the benefits. Some transitions, including “Last but not least,” feel formulaic, while “By contrast” does not clearly signal the relationship between the preceding point and your respect for older people. Use more precise links and clearer references between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “national income,” “skilled and intellectual labour,” “innovative” and “prosperity,” and the main argument remains understandable. There are also some effective choices, such as “incentives” and “responsibilities.” However, inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural: “young population,” “economic powerful country,” “IT farms” and “true happiness” are examples. Several phrases also repeat broad terms such as “young generation” and “development.” Aim for more precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. For instance, “a large proportion of young people” and “a leading country in the IT sector” would express your intended ideas more idiomatically.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If nations engage their teenagers properly, they could boost prosperity.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning can generally be followed. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with verb forms, articles, agreement and sentence construction. For example, “many nations have been experienced” uses an incorrect verb pattern, while “Japan which is one of most economic powerful country” has problems with clause structure, articles and agreement. “If states take duties” also shows an inaccurate grammatical pattern. Practise building complex sentences around one clear main clause, and check articles, singular/plural agreement and verb forms during revision.

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