Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the present era, world population is increasing rapidly in many countries population of young adults are greater then older people.In my opinion, the advantages outweight the disadvantages.

Firstly, the main benefit of high number teenager is save money from health care expenditures because a lot of money spend in the form of older people treatment. So, this money we can spend on other purposes. For example, in developing countries most of children are out of schools save money from older people treatment can spend on children eduaction which will beneficial for development of countries. Futhermore in many areas of world countries have labour shortage through young people wie can solve this economical issue. Therefore young people have more contribution then olders.

On the other hand, the main drawback of over population of young people they are less responsible then olders and spending most of time on screens. Moreover, they are creating law viloation in socity. For example, young people do not follow traffic rules properly as compare to older people. Furthermore the other disadvantage is unemployment when socity have young graduate people in country unemplyment rate is high. which can increase the rate of crime. In adation they create more pollution through over use of vehicles like cars and motorbikes.As a result lots of many disease will develop ln the enviroment.

in conclusion, the advantages of young people is helping recover labour schorta

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you discuss both sides. Relevant points include young adults helping address labour shortages and unemployment potentially contributing to crime. However, the position is not fully sustained: the conclusion is cut off after “helping recover labour schorta,” so it does not clearly restate your comparison. Several ideas are also asserted rather than explained, such as the claim that young people are less responsible or cause more pollution. The response is 16 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support your points. To strengthen the response, complete the conclusion and explain each main point with a clear cause-and-effect link or a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph presenting advantages, a paragraph presenting disadvantages, and an attempted conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “Furthermore” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims are joined without clear explanation, and the conclusion is incomplete. Some connections are also unclear, as in “So, this money we can spend on other purposes,” followed by the example about education. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main point, then explain and illustrate it in a logical order. Check that pronouns and linking phrases clearly show how each sentence relates to the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “health care expenditures,” “labour shortage,” “unemployment rate,” and “crime.” This gives you some means of discussing economic and social effects. However, the range is limited, and inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “outweight,” “eduaction,” “law viloation,” and “labour schorta”; phrases such as “high number teenager” and “older people treatment” are also not expressed naturally. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully. Prefer precise expressions such as “a large proportion of young adults” and “pressure on public healthcare” rather than relying on repeated general terms like “people” and “money.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic structures to compare advantages and disadvantages, but sentence control is inconsistent. Many sentences contain errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, or sentence boundaries. For example, “the main benefit of high number teenager is save money” lacks accurate article and verb patterns, while “unemployment rate is high. which can increase the rate of crime” incorrectly separates a dependent clause. The opening also runs several clauses together without appropriate punctuation. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships hard to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “which,” or “as a result.” Check subject–verb agreement and ensure every sentence begins with a capital letter and forms a complete thought.

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