Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

With the modernization of the world and advances in medical sciences, population of the world is increasing significantly. Due to rapid growth of population some countries show relatively large number of young people than older people. This trend has some advantages and disadvantages. I think this is a negative develoment as It is overburdening the country's resources creating many financial and siocial problems.

On the one hand, advocates of rising young population think that this development help to increase manpower and workforce of a country. This would lead to increase productivity and growth. Ultimately this would result in more income and genrate more revenues. For example, many developing countries in Africa and South Asia have high reproduction rate and have a high percentage of young population. Many individuals in these countries work abroad and send remittances to their homeland and contributing to raise the national economy.

On the other hand, critics of this view believe that imbalance between population and older people is indicative of high reproduction rate. They think rising population is having negative consequences for our environment, by producing more pollution due to increase demand of goods, housing, transport and travel resulting in more carbon emissions.Moreover, this imbalance is more in pronounced in developing countries, with limited resources for training and education of these young individuals. Consequently this would worsen the economic situation with increase in crimes and poverty.

In conclusion, I suggest large number of young people is a serious matter which need urgent attention at national and international level to train and educate these induviduals for productive purposes. I think intenational organisation should promote awareness about determental effects of rising population and damage caused to environment to create more sustainable environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you regard a large young population as a disadvantage overall, while acknowledging potential economic benefits. The discussion addresses both sides, and the examples of workers sending remittances and pressure on education, resources and the environment are relevant. This meets the task well, but the comparison of whether advantages outweigh disadvantages could be made more explicit. For instance, the remittance example supports the benefits, yet you do not explain why these gains are outweighed by the costs. Some claims, such as the link between population growth and crime, are asserted rather than explained. Develop the weighing of the two sides and support key claims with clearer reasoning to make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. The progression is generally logical, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. In the second body paragraph, the shift from environmental pressure to limited training resources and then crime and poverty would benefit from more explicit links showing how each consequence follows. The conclusion also introduces international organisations without developing this point in the discussion. Use referencing and transitions more precisely, and ensure each paragraph develops a connected line of reasoning rather than a sequence of related claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “manpower,” “workforce,” “remittances,” “carbon emissions,” and “sustainable environment.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “indicative of” and “consequences.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “high reproduction rate,” “increase productivity,” and “more pronounced in developing countries.” Spelling errors such as “develoment,” “siocial,” “genrate,” and “determental” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully; greater precision would help you express the economic and social effects more convincingly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “Due to,” “Moreover,” and “Consequently,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, however. For example, “this development help” needs subject–verb agreement, while “a relatively large number of young people than older people” lacks a clear comparative structure. In “many individuals … work abroad and send remittances … and contributing,” the verb forms are not parallel. There are also article and punctuation problems, such as “population of the world” and the missing space after “emissions.” To improve, check agreement, parallel verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to use complex structures.

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