Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, more and more countries population are includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older individuals. In my opinion, this is a advantages situation because many young peolpe have new ideas and skills, they can support national developments and also they can help the country's economy.

Firstly, population of many countries includes a relatively large number of young adults this is a positive way because one of the main reason more young individual can work. For example, more and more young peolpe can going working from diffrents places they also earning lot of money, this can help for many important problems and also spend of money useful work. Young people have new ideas and skills, because many young people brain are started fast a they find out a many useful skills and information, they can also support national developments.

Secondly, this situation also has some disadvantages. One main reason some young people may not get jobs. For example, more and more young people may not get better jobs and also more problms they not to paid monthly rents, bill, transportation cost and they not purchased many important items. Government needs to provide more education and healthcare. For example, government also lot of investment on their education and hospital, they not improved and find out other many useful works like road, water supply and other many problems.

However, population pressure may increase and also more competition for employment.

In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages. because young peolpe have a new more useful ideas and new important skills, also they can help the country development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you mention relevant points such as young adults contributing to the economy, unemployment, and pressure on public services. However, the discussion is only partially developed: the benefits of young people’s ideas and skills are repeated, while the disadvantages are listed with little explanation of their wider effects. The conclusion restates your position but does not weigh the two sides in detail. The response is also below the required minimum: it contains 245 words, five words short, and 31 words copied from the prompt were not counted. To strengthen the response, explain each main point with a clear cause-and-effect link and a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, a brief additional point, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “However” help signal changes in direction. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from employment to earnings and then to ideas and skills without clearly connecting these points. Some sentences repeat earlier claims, and the short “However” sentence is not developed or integrated into the discussion. Use one central idea per paragraph, connect each example explicitly to that idea, and make the contrast between advantages and disadvantages more deliberate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “young adults,” “national developments,” “employment,” and “healthcare,” so the reader can identify the subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “more and more young people” and “many useful ideas.” Word choice and collocation errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow: “spend of money useful work” and “they not to paid monthly rents” do not express the intended ideas clearly. There are also spelling errors, including “peolpe,” “diffrents,” and “problms.” Build a more precise set of phrases for employment, public spending, and economic contribution, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the overall position can usually be understood. However, grammatical errors are frequent, and attempts to combine ideas often produce faulty sentences. For example, “more and more countries population are includes” has problems with possession, agreement, and verb form; “young peolpe can going working” uses an incorrect verb pattern; and “Government needs to provide more education and healthcare” is not clearly connected to the surrounding sentence. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then join them with controlled clauses using “because,” “which,” or “as a result.” Proofread for subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.