Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many parts of the world, the population of young people goes on inceasing. Although, some might consider that it has disadvantages but I believe that it is much beneficial. Not only because young people are more energetic and educated but also because they are more polite to others.

There are several benefits associated with the growth of population of young people. Firstly, young people are more energetic and active as compared to the older people. As they do more work with better ideas. Take an example of Spain where almost 80% of the country work is handeled by young people. Thus, young people are beneficial for the country.

Secondly, young people have more education as compared to the old ones and young people bring better ideas in the work. As they goes through the better and edvanced education system. For instance, a recent survey conducted in Dubai stated that 90% of the young people work differently and smoothly as compared to the old workers. Thus, young people are beneficial at work.

Finally, young people interect with other people more politely at work and in their daily life which brings peace in the society. As they have better manners and sense to interect with others.

To sum up, eventhough, having more young people might have some drawbacks but I believe that, it is beneficial. Not only because young people are more energetic and more educated but also because they are more polite and well behaved to others in their daily life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that a large young population is beneficial, and you offer relevant reasons: energy, education and social behaviour. However, the response addresses the comparison only partially. The question asks whether advantages outweigh disadvantages, but you do not explain any disadvantages or directly weigh them against the benefits. The examples about Spain and Dubai are presented as statistics, yet their relevance and reliability are not explained, and the claim about young people being more polite is asserted rather than supported. To strengthen the response, acknowledge at least one plausible drawback, such as pressure on jobs or housing, then explain why your advantages are more significant. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a specific, credible example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, three body points signalled by “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Finally,” and a concluding summary. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. However, progression is somewhat mechanical, and the body paragraphs often repeat the claim that young people benefit the country rather than extending the reasoning. Several sentences beginning with “As” are fragments, which interrupts the flow between claims and explanations. The conclusion also repeats the introduction closely. For clearer cohesion, connect each reason to its consequence with complete sentences, use referencing where appropriate, and make the final paragraph weigh the advantages against a disadvantage rather than simply restating the benefits.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “population,” “energetic,” “education system,” and “society,” and the intended meaning is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive, especially “young people,” “beneficial,” and “better,” and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “the country work” and “work differently and smoothly” do not express the intended ideas precisely. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “inceasing,” “handeled,” “edvanced,” and “interect.” These issues limit precision and can make parts of the response less clear. Build a wider set of natural collocations for employment, skills and social effects, and check spelling carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including the “Although” opening and the “Not only … but also” construction. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. “Although, some might consider that it has disadvantages but…” combines two contrasting structures incorrectly, while “As they do more work with better ideas” and “As they goes through…” are incomplete clauses. There are also agreement problems, such as “young people … goes,” and sentence-boundary issues where a full stop separates a dependent clause from the main idea. Practise writing complete sentences with one clear main clause, check subject–verb agreement, and use contrast structures such as “Although X, Y” without adding “but.”

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