Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Presently in some countries, young adults make a large portion of population as compared to older people. It has advantages as well as some disadvantages but it is definitely true that the advantages of this scenario surpasses the disadvantages.

Youth is often called backbone of any country. This is due to the reason that young adults are energetic members of any society and they have a spark to be a catalyst of change in their respective communities. For instance, if we look into community development projects and volunteering opportunities in Pakistan, these are mostly carried out by the youth aged 20 to 30 years and most of them are university students or graduates. It rarely happens that older people are involved in such initiatives. So, young adults are proved to be more productive in bringing change as compared to older people. Moreover, young people are less likely to have disease as compared to older people and comparatively they can perform duties well.

Although, young people are more productive yet more proportion of young adults in a country's population will definitely ample the pressure on the government to come up with more employment and educational opportunities. For instance, if young adults are increasing in a country there comes a demand to establish more and more universities to meet the demand of quality education in the country.

On the one hand, there comes a pressure on the government to create more employment opportunities for the young adults while on the other hand there is a relief that youth will run the govermental organizations in more effective manner. Similarly, older people retire and there is a responsibility on the government to provide them with retirement pension or benefits, which can lead to a substantial economical burden. However, when more population consists of youth this burden will somehow reduce.

In conclusion, having major portion of population occupied by youth can have some disadvantages such as establishment of more resources but it can also result in reduced burden of responsibility of retired older people. As young adults tend to be healthier and more active the advantages outweigh the disadvantges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction and conclusion: you believe the advantages of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages. You address both sides, using youth volunteering and the need for more universities as relevant examples, and you also explain how a smaller older population may reduce pension costs. This meets the task well. However, the advantages are developed more fully than the disadvantages, and some claims need qualification or clearer explanation—for example, that young adults are generally more productive, or that older people are rarely involved in community initiatives. To strengthen the response further, explain the employment pressure in more detail and show how it compares with the benefits, rather than relying mainly on broad assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally progress from the benefits of youth to the pressures and then the pension argument. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Moreover” and “However” help guide the reader. At times, though, the organisation feels mechanical or the relationships between points are not fully clear. The paragraph beginning “On the one hand” repeats the employment pressure already mentioned, then shifts to government efficiency and pensions, so its central focus is diffuse. The contrast marker “Although” at the start of the previous paragraph is also not followed by a fully balanced contrast. Grouping each main advantage and disadvantage more distinctly would make the progression clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “community development projects,” “employment opportunities,” “retirement pension” and “substantial economical burden.” These choices allow you to discuss the issue beyond very basic terms, although some less common expressions are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “ample the pressure” does not convey the intended meaning, while “spark to be a catalyst of change” is an awkward combination. There are also spelling and word-form slips, including “govermental,” “disadvantges” and “economical” where “economic” is needed. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your argument sound more fluent without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional phrasing (“if young adults are increasing…”) and contrast structures (“Although… yet…”). Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the advantages of this scenario surpasses” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “a large portion of population” needs an article before “population.” The sentence beginning “Although, young people…” has awkward punctuation and an incomplete contrast pattern, while “there comes a demand” is not well formed in this context. Work on agreement, articles and the construction of subordinate clauses, and punctuate introductory clauses consistently. More accurate control of these patterns would improve clarity while preserving your range.

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