Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At the following time we can see that the population of other countries young adults are large in number comparing to older people. From my point of view i think, there are lots of benefits of this situation containing risks too.

Overall, youn adults are the future of a nation or a country but at the same time aged adultes are the past and the present of a nation, so without past,present we can not think about our futures.

At first talking about the youg adults role is very significant. Because the number of adults becomes less in a country it effects the economy, Education which is the main roots of a nation.along this if youth becomes small in number, then the country will face zero population and it can not walk hand by hand with other nations.

On the contrary, older people are the gurdians of a nation. without an gurdian we won't be able to gain the knowledge how to face the concequencess of our daily conflicts.Therefore, its easy to say that a country must have both generations and the benefits will remain balanced.

in conclusion, the number of people of some countries including large number of young adults than older ones carries both advantags and disadvantages for a nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the topic and recognise both potential benefits of a younger population and the value of older people. However, the question asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your position remains unclear: you say there are “lots of benefits” but conclude that the effects are balanced. The points about young adults supporting the economy and older people sharing knowledge are relevant, but they are asserted rather than explained or illustrated. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, so there is limited space to develop reasons and examples. State a clear judgement about which side outweighs the other, then support it with specific consequences or an example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate discussion of younger and older people, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “At first” and “On the contrary” help signal the shift between ideas. However, progression is limited because the paragraphs contain brief, loosely connected claims rather than a developed line of reasoning. The opening overview that both generations are needed is repeated in the conclusion without resolving the question of whether advantages outweigh disadvantages. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the move from fewer young adults to “zero population.” Use each paragraph to develop one main point, explain its consequence, and connect it explicitly to your overall judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “economy,” “guardians,” “knowledge,” and “consequences,” and the reader can generally identify your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make the writing less clear, such as “young adults role,” “main roots,” and “walk hand by hand.” Spelling errors including “youn,” “gurdians,” and “advantags” are noticeable. Some phrases also sound unnatural, for example “At the following time” and “the population of other countries young adults are large in number.” Build a more precise range for discussing employment, economic contribution, and intergenerational experience, and check spelling and common collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “if youth becomes small in number, then the country will face zero population.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to follow. For example, “Because the number of adults becomes less in a country it effects the economy” is an incomplete sentence followed by an unclear clause; “without an gurdian” also shows an article error. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, as in “in conclusion” and “past,present.” Practise forming complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and proofread for articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries.

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