Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is no denying the fact that number of young adults is outweighting the number of older people, it is a commonly held belief that the advantages of this topic are more than the disatvantages, there is also an argument that the disadvantages are outweighting the advantages. This essay will analyze this topic from both point of views and give my opinion.

To begin with, a population who has large number of young adults will always be shining and use their fresh mind thinking, in other words, young adults can carry the country and lead it with a modern way. In addition, this kind of population will give fresh happy vibes with a thirst for learning, exploring and inventing, this what any country need to live a healthy life, wars has been fought to reach this and even scientists in some countries suggested to increase the rate of births so they can have a large number of young adults in the future, whatever countries nowdays are welcoming young adults to study and even offers living there, for example Canada which always opens its hands to young adults from all over the world.

In the other hand, older people can be a symbol for life experience and be the exemple for younger individuals, it is also possible to say, older people lived in wilder time where the poorness and wars were everywhere so the fact that they survived that will make you want to sit with them and learn. Moreover, they had to live without internet and a less amount of communication which is a thing we can't do it for one day, for instance, my grandfather went on a work trip and died there but my family couldn't reach him and they took so long to get the information.

In conclution, there is no easy answers for this question, in balance i believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question by discussing benefits and drawbacks and state your view in the conclusion: “the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.” The points about young adults contributing new ideas and older people offering life experience are relevant. However, the position is not consistently clear: the introduction presents competing claims without indicating which you support, and the conclusion says there is “no easy answers” without explaining why the benefits ultimately carry more weight. Several ideas are asserted rather than developed—for example, the claim that young adults help a country “live a healthy life” is not clearly explained, and the family anecdote illustrates communication difficulties but does not fully show the wider disadvantage of an older population. Explain the effects of each point and compare their importance more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. Sequencers such as “To begin with,” “In addition,” and “Moreover” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims are joined into long sentences, and the links between them are not always clear. The introduction repeats the idea of advantages and disadvantages rather than establishing a focused line of argument. “In the other hand” is an inaccurate transition, while the final paragraph gives a position but does not connect it to the preceding examples. Use clearer topic sentences, divide related points into manageable sentences, and make the comparison explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “life experience,” “thirst for learning,” “inventing,” and “communication,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. There are also attempts at less common or expressive phrasing, such as “fresh happy vibes,” but this is informal and imprecise for an academic essay. Several word-choice and collocation errors make parts of the argument harder to interpret, including “shining,” “carry the country,” and “a less amount of communication.” Spelling errors such as “disatvantages,” “exemple,” and “conclution” are noticeable. Aim for precise, natural academic expressions and check spelling; for instance, describe young adults as contributing to economic growth or innovation rather than saying they “carry” a country.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “in other words,” “so,” and “where.” However, complex sentences are often faulty or run together, and errors occur frequently enough to sometimes make the intended relationships unclear. For example, the opening sentence joins several independent ideas with commas, and “this what any country need” lacks a verb and has incorrect agreement. Other examples include “wars has been fought,” “countries … offers,” and “there is no easy answers.” Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “a population who has large number.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea each, checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation before adding subordinate clauses.

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