Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this contemporary era, teenagers outnumber adults in some regions. Some people see this as a disadvantage, and a fraction of people opine that there are more advantages than disadvantages. There has been a considerable debate on the statement that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In modern times, young people are seen more than elders. Some people believe that it is more beneficial to have a young population because youth have a better understanding of today's world. For example, most adults are technophobic and hesitate to use new technology. As we know in the cutting-edge era, tech device becomes the daily need for humans, so in this case, the rising generation helps to old age people and teaches them how to use the devices. Moreover, a survey conducted by the prestigious newspaper, The Hindustan Times, reports that having a young generation in the country has a great impact on the development of the nation.

On the contrary, there are also disadvantages of fewer elderly people in the region, such as young people lacking the experience that older people have. Moreover, elders have the knowledge and experience to find solutions that they have gained in their lives. For example, many big companies choose experienced employees compared to young ones.

Different people have different notions regarding the statement, but I have sound reasons to support that youth have better energy and are more passionate about their work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt but fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the development of ideas. While you present a clear position, the arguments are somewhat superficial. For instance, the point about technology is relevant, but the explanation lacks depth. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively summarise the main points or reinforce your position. To improve, ensure you fully explore each argument with specific examples and extend your analysis to meet the length requirement, which will allow for a more comprehensive discussion of the advantages and disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover' and 'On the contrary' to link ideas. However, the transition between sentences can sometimes feel mechanical, and the flow within paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure lacks the sophisticated progression expected at higher bands. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly supports your overall thesis.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary era', 'technophobic', and 'cutting-edge'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'helps to old age people' (should be 'helps older people') and 'tech device becomes the daily need' (should be 'technological devices have become a daily necessity'). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire of academic collocations and refining your usage of word forms will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, though the complexity is limited. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'a fraction of people opine' (awkward phrasing), 'helps to old age people' (incorrect preposition and noun usage), and 'tech device becomes' (missing article). While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately without awkward phrasing.

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