Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this modern world, the topic of the population of young people has become a matter of great concern. While some people believe that it has numerous advantages, others argue that there are also certain drawbacks. This essay will discuss both benefits and disadvantages of this issue before drawing a reasonable conclusion.

On the one hand, there are several advantages of large number of young populations. Firstly, it provides high education stability since it enables young people to become more flexible and convenience. For example, In Bangladesh learners are becoming more consistent on their study as it plays a crucial role in the academic period. Furthermore, it also helps to enhance economic growth because it allows young people to become professional which is highly beneficial. Therefore, it is evident that young generation plays a significant role in the society as they can bring many advantages.

On the other hand, the population of young people also has some drawbacks. The main disadvantage is that unemployment, which is extremely negative for the specific country. For instance, unemployment is due to huge competition between same generation people which would be a serious problem for the country. In addition, another drawback is that competition in education and the workplace which are extremely challenging for the young people as it causes many problems, such as financial burden. Hence, although there are many advantages, the disadvantages are also essential. Since it can lead to long-term drawbacks.

In conclusion, although a young generation has both merits and demerits, I believe that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Consequently, it is important that the young people should focus on education as it can assist to ensure the best outcome.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding 'education stability' is vague and lacks a clear logical link to the benefits of a young population. Similarly, the point about economic growth is mentioned but not sufficiently explained or supported with concrete evidence. While the essay covers both sides, the supporting arguments are repetitive and lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples and ensure that each point directly answers the 'why' and 'how' of the prompt rather than relying on general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Since it can lead to long-term drawbacks,' which is a sentence fragment that does not connect well to the previous thought. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to link ideas more naturally rather than just acting as signposts would improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good,' 'bad,' or 'problems' in some instances, and there are some awkward collocations, such as 'high education stability' and 'consistent on their study.' While the meaning is clear, the lack of sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'demographic dividend,' 'labor force participation,' 'socio-economic pressure') limits the score. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic terminology to express your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. For instance, 'large number of young populations' should be 'a large number of young people,' and 'competition between same generation people' is grammatically awkward. There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and diversifying your sentence structures will help you achieve a higher band.

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