Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The trend of population of some countries include relatively substaintial number of young adults as compared to older one's. However, i believe that the pros outweight the cons. This essay will discuss about the situation in further paragraphs with appropriate example.

To begin with, The individuals of some countries has plethora number of younger one's. there are myriads of benefits, the first key merit is that youngster bring an innovative and creative ideas. by exploring vast amount of technologies, One's getting tremedious knowledge and experience. The quintessential example, a company who want to improve thier product structure then youngster thinking is designing and linking to today's era than older people.

Furthermore, by exploring and learning a different things, the younger one's has ability to adapt faster and quicker as compared to older one's. The youngster was passinated toward thier goal lead to future growth. In addition, they are discipline, focus and generous toward their work. ergo, the younger has gain new things faster and focus toward work.

In contrast, the older one's has ability and lots of experience to solve the problem quickly. they are also focus toward thier contribution in country growth due to thier humbleness and thier dedication toward thier work. the quintessential example, the company owner only share thier firm private detailed to thier closed and experience worker older one's rather than new younster.

In conclusion, the adult one's bring numerous enery, creative and innovative ideas and can adapt unknown work quickly. while, older one's has problem solving ability. its lead to the pros outweight the cons

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding 'innovative ideas' is mentioned but not fully explored with a concrete, real-world example. The conclusion is brief and lacks a summary of the main points. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments are repetitive and lack the depth required for a higher band. The essay covers all parts of the task, but the analysis remains at a general level throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'ergo' is used incorrectly in the context of the sentence, and 'the quintessential example' is used twice in a repetitive manner. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'the younger one's' and 'older one's' throughout the text, which makes the flow feel somewhat disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression between sentences could be smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. Phrases like 'younger one's' and 'older one's' are used excessively, which hinders the sophistication of the writing. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'plethora number of' and 'passinated toward thier goal'. While the student attempts to use some academic vocabulary like 'quintessential' and 'innovative', the overall control is inconsistent. Spelling errors, such as 'substaintial', 'thier', and 'enery', are frequent and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not fully impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are frequently marred by grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The individuals... has', 'younger one's has ability'). Punctuation is inconsistent, with random capitalization (e.g., 'The individuals', 'The quintessential') and missing articles. The frequent errors in basic grammar, such as pluralization and verb forms, are noticeable throughout the text. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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