Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

IN TODAY'S COMPLEX WORLD, THE POPULATION OF SOME REGIONS INCLUDES A VERY LARGE POPULATION OF YOUTH ADULTS, COMPARED WITH THE NUMBER OF OLDER PEOPLE. MEANWHILE, NOT ONLY THE POSITIVES OF THE SITUATION BUT ALSO THE NEGATIVES ASSOCIATED WITH IT WILL BE EXPLAINED IN ENSUING PARAGRAPHS, ALONG WITH EXMAPLES.

DISCUSSING THE MERITS, THE MOST EVIDENT ON IS MANY YOUNG ADULTS CAN WORK AND CONTRIBUTE IN ECONOMIC GROWTH. FOR INSTANCE COUNTRIES SUCH AS INDIA BENEFITS FROM LARGE WORKING-AGE POPULATION IN INDUSTIES IIKE TECHNOLOGY, SERVICES. TO JUSTFY IT FURTHER, YOUNG BUSINESSMAN CAN CREATE A START-UP, DIGITAL SERVICES.

FURTHERMORE, ANOTHER ONE OF THE MERITS IS A LARGE EMPLOYED POPULATION PAYA TEXS, HELPING GOVERNMENT FUND HELTHCARE, EDUCATION. YOUNG ADULT CAN ENCOURAGE HOUSING, ENTERTAINTMENT AND HIRE MORE WORKERS TO EXPAND THE BUSINESS. ALSO TAXPAYER REDUCE THE FINANCIAL BURDEN OF SUPPORTING RETIRED CITIZENS.

HOWEVER, GOVERNMENT MAY STRUGGLE TO PROVIDEN ENOUGH UNIVERSITIES AND EDUCATION. ONE PROMINENT EXAMPLE, LONG TURM UNEMPLOYMENT AMONG YOUNGE ADULTS MAY CONTRIBUTES THE POVERTY ND CRIME. RAPID POPULATION GROWTH IN MAJOR CITIES CAN EFFECT ON OVERCROWDING. FOR INSTANCE, YOUNG PEOPLE WITHOUT THE STABLE INCOME MAY STRUGGLE TO BECOME FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT.

IN ADDITION, ANOTHER ONE DEMERIT IS GOVERNMENT MAY STRUGGLE TO PROVID AFFORDABLE HOMES AND SERVICES AND ALSO INCREASE HEALTHCARE COST.

IN CONCLUSION, IN THIS CONTEMPORARY ERA THERE IS EQUALLY POTENTIAL EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THE ARGUMENT I HAVE PROVIDED. HENCE, I AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT THAT YOUNG ADULTS ARE ECONOMICALLY PRODUCTIVE AND ADAPTABLE ALONG WITH LARGE ADULT CAN EFFECT ON JOB COMPETITION AND EFFECTIVE GOVERNMENT PLANNING.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention economic growth and tax contributions as benefits, and unemployment and overcrowding as drawbacks, the explanations remain superficial. For instance, the link between young adults and 'poverty and crime' is stated but not fully explored or supported with a clear logical chain. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more specific reasoning or illustrative examples. Your position is generally clear, though the conclusion is slightly repetitive and could more explicitly weigh the advantages against the disadvantages as requested by the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'In addition' to transition between ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as in the paragraph discussing disadvantages, where the transition from university provision to crime and then to overcrowding feels abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economic growth', 'financial burden', and 'financially independent'. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'EXMAPLES', 'INDUSTIES', 'PAYA TEXS', 'HELTHCARE', 'LONG TURM', 'PROVIDEN') and word choice issues (e.g., 'young businessman' instead of 'young entrepreneurs', 'effect on' instead of 'affect'). These errors occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on accuracy in spelling and collocations. Using more precise academic vocabulary would also help elevate your score, as some of your current phrasing is quite basic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('young adult can encourage', 'unemployment... may contributes'), missing articles ('the government', 'a large population'), and incorrect verb forms ('provide enough', 'struggle to provide'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and article usage, and try to vary your sentence structures with more complex clauses used accurately.

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