Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, as world is growing fast the population of countries increasing gradually. Some of the countries owes young adults than the experienced adults. For a country development youth is more important but we can not neglect the importance of experienced one's.

As begin with the advantages of more youngster in a country than the older is that they have energy to work for long, contribute in new ideas according to increasing technology. Youngsters are the future of any country they have to lead the country in future in various departments like as a politician, teacher, armed forces officers and as a bureaucrats. While the people who are old have spent their life and now doing less or may be resting at home have not much to owe to their country they have given their all.

In another aspect the people who are retired and are older are more experienced. We cannot deny their devotion for their country. They served their country in every department. Whatever if they are still pushing themselves to their last or decided to end and prefer resting at home doesn't means that these are useless. They have all the knowledge what the youngsters are now learning and going through. They can help them by teaching the crucial techniques in certain department which they learn after grinding themselves several years in that department. For instance, if a country is in a war situation they need more youngster who can stand and fought well. While on the other hand they will also acquire the services of retired persons.

Yes I agree that the advantages of the more young adult in a country outweigh the disadvantages in every aspect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that youth bring energy and innovation, and that older people provide experience, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. The conclusion is clear, but the overall position could be more consistently supported throughout the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that each point is fully extended with concrete reasoning or a more detailed illustration, rather than just stating the point. The essay stays on topic, but the analysis of the 'outweigh' aspect is brief.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'As begin with', 'While on the other hand', and 'In another aspect'. However, some of these transitions are slightly awkward or grammatically incorrect (e.g., 'As begin with' should be 'To begin with'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring they are used accurately would help improve the flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'devotion', 'bureaucrats', and 'crucial techniques'. However, there are several instances of word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'world is growing fast' (should be 'the world is developing rapidly') and 'owe to their country' (which is used incorrectly here). Some phrasing is repetitive, and the vocabulary is generally functional rather than sophisticated. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently make errors with articles ('the population of countries', 'a politician'), subject-verb agreement ('Some of the countries owes'), and pluralization ('experienced one's'). There are also issues with sentence fragments and awkward phrasing, such as 'Whatever if they are still pushing themselves'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall clarity of your writing. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for common errors would significantly improve your score.

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