Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
At the present time, among the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people. This essay will discuss the advantages of this situation outweigh disadvantages.
In 21th century, The population of world has been increasing gradually every year it demands on rising of life quality, development of science and peace environment without war. Furthermore, the population of some countries account on a large number of youngers than the number of older people. It contains many advantages. For example growth of birth, showing starting of new age, illustrating people’s lives are more fulfilled and stability economy. In addition, behaviors of youngers are more passionate, finding out new things and achievements, their brains run out quickly. It will be significantly help for develop of country, If the number of young adults is a relatively large.
In contrast, it consists of some disadvantages.
In conclusion,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 153 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While the essay introduces the topic and attempts to outline advantages, the discussion is severely underdeveloped. The conclusion is incomplete, and the prompt's requirement to weigh advantages against disadvantages is not fulfilled, as the essay stops abruptly before providing a balanced argument or a clear position. To improve, you must expand your ideas with specific examples and ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed in full, including a coherent conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay lacks a clear logical progression. While there is an attempt to use transition words like 'Furthermore' and 'In addition', the paragraphing is ineffective, and the abrupt ending prevents the development of a cohesive argument. The relationship between ideas is often unclear due to the fragmented nature of the sentences. To improve, focus on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for advantages, one for disadvantages), and a conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. Phrases like 'youngers' (instead of 'young people' or 'the youth') and 'brains run out quickly' are unnatural and hinder the clarity of your argument. There is a lack of academic vocabulary suitable for an IELTS Task 2 essay. You should aim to use more precise terminology related to demographics and socio-economic factors. Expanding your range of collocations and avoiding informal or non-standard phrasing will significantly improve your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'among the population of some countries includes' (incorrect sentence structure), 'demands on rising of life quality' (awkward phrasing), and 'significantly help for develop of country' (incorrect word form). The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. To improve, focus on basic subject-verb agreement and correct word forms. Practice writing complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'although', 'because', 'while') to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.
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