Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Now-days, in the world population are increasing in this younger is more than old age. Young adults are create large a amount of pollution more then older. Advantages, technologies are more developed by the young youth as compare to older. In this topic i will discus both views and give my best opinion.

On the one hand, all over the world younger is the most in all countries. Firstly, adults are very lazy for their work and also they are can't care them selves, such as; whenever a young man has problem that time he most of the time first he started overthink. Secondly, today's society face uncomfortable around because day by day raging, bulling and crime are more increased in younger's era as compare to older.

on the second hand, young adults are more intelligent than the elderly people. younger do smart work and every day find trips and trick about their work to make easy and speedy while older needs to more time for same work.

In my opinion, they all are same on their ages. because younger do their

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 182 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack specific examples or logical depth. The position is not clearly maintained throughout, and the conclusion is incomplete, which prevents a full response to the prompt. To improve, you must expand on your points with detailed explanations and ensure the essay reaches the required length to allow for a comprehensive discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'Firstly', but the overall logical progression is weak. Paragraphing is present, but the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed and lack clear transitions. The final paragraph is incomplete, which disrupts the flow of the argument. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting evidence that connects back to the main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'younger' and 'older' rather than more precise academic terminology. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'young youth' and 'find trips and trick'. Spelling errors, such as 'discus' and 'bulling', also occur. To improve, you should aim to use a more varied range of vocabulary related to demographics and social issues, and practice using words in their correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('young adults are create'), incorrect sentence structure ('younger is the most in all countries'), and misuse of articles and prepositions. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of auxiliary verbs. Proofreading for common errors like 'can't care them selves' is essential.

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