Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
At the present time, The world changed rapidly and there is a lot of new technology and new inventions. Which i think new population understand easily. So I am agree with advantages of young population.
The first thing, Young population have man power. Moreover, young generation do more work instead of older peoples. For example, There is a factory and a team of young and old peoples can be hired. There are Fifty young and fifty old peoples and they have task to finish the cleaning in thirty minutes. The young one's can easily do this task in thirty minutes but older population cannot do this task in given time. So that-how we can understand the power of the young generation.
So the second thing is that, New technology highlighted in the world very fast. If we compare the old generation with new world. So I think they cannot be able to do new inventions even they can't understand technology. For example young population have Mobile phones and they easily access all the world only with the help of mobile phone but on the other hand, If we look at the old population they used newspaper for news and they read books for learning and read old magazine. So at the end those countries have more young generation are more successfull thre
In conclusion, Those countries who have more young population compare to old population. These type of countries are gain more success then other countries.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population, but it fails to provide a balanced discussion of the disadvantages, which is required by the 'do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages' instruction. The ideas are underdeveloped and rely on simplistic examples, such as the cleaning task in a factory, which does not fully explore the socio-economic implications of an aging versus young population. Furthermore, the response is slightly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of the argument. To improve, you must address both sides of the argument and provide more sophisticated reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical and repetitive. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, such as 'So that-how we can understand' and 'So the second thing is that'. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the conclusion is abrupt and lacks a clear summary of the main points. Improving the use of linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' would help create a more logical flow between your arguments.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive, relying on simple terms like 'good', 'new', and 'young population'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'young population have man power' and 'New technology highlighted in the world'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repeating the same words throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('young generation do more work'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'Which i think new population understand easily.' The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with little attempt at complex grammatical forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your score.
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