Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

population of some countries large number of young adults as compared to older adults. This is very beneficial for country development and progress .as youth has more potential to deal with challenges first of all the youth have less morbidity rate as compared to the older adults. more youth leads to more technological developments in the country. youth paly role in different areas of the country progress. the youth is more eager to accept the challenges. youth is the main stem of the country as compared to older adults as older people are less energetics so they cannot compete with the challenges of life. The old people are more vulnerable to the diseases and do not do much work. Old people have not plenty of knowledge as compared to young adults. as example. of Arfa Karim is youngest Microsoft engineer and have brought revolution in the field of computer. Many youth students play role in IT development in country. youth is the powerful weapon of the country. many young soldiers' workday and night for the defense of the country. They protect the country by their strong will and determination. youth adults have the voice in democracy states to raise their rights. youth know the res[ponsibility as a good citizen. Youth follow the rules and regulation more firmly.

youth play role in public health policies and managements. Older adults as compared have less impurities to deal with the circumstances. older adults deal with challenges less firmly, so the population rate of youth leads to more prosperous country.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population, but it fails to provide a balanced view by ignoring the disadvantages, which is a requirement of the 'Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?' task type. The ideas are presented as a list of assertions rather than a well-developed argument. While the position is clear, the lack of counter-argument or acknowledgement of the complexities of an aging society limits the depth of the response. To reach a higher band, you must address both sides of the argument and provide more nuanced support for your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure; it is presented as a single block of text, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and arguments logically. Many sentences start with 'youth' or 'older adults' in a repetitive manner, and the transition between ideas is often abrupt. To improve, you should organise your writing into distinct paragraphs (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion) and use a wider variety of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'on the other hand' to guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, with frequent misuse of terms. For example, 'morbidity rate' is used incorrectly in this context, and 'impurities' is not the right word to describe the ability of older adults to handle circumstances. There are also issues with word formation, such as 'energetics' instead of 'energetic'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent a higher score. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary and focusing on correct collocations would significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are consistent issues with article usage (e.g., 'in country' instead of 'in the country'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments. Many sentences are simple in structure, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several instances of incorrect capitalisation and missing full stops. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb tenses.

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