Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In this modern era, it was witnessed in some nations the population growth extremely high in number of younger generation people other than the number of senior citizens. In my opinion this change will bringing remarkable merits to the nation which outweigh the demerits of this population growth. In the upcoming paragraphs several reasons will be highlighted according to this statement.
To commence with, there are abundant advantages that countries are getting through large number of young adults population. The first and foremost, youngest give their contribution in there country GDP growth. To explain it, as the young adults are doing job in different fields and generate income from that professional owing to this there not only improve their living standard but also boots up the nation growth. As a results Country and residence of a nation corresponding growing. For example, a survey was conducted by 'World National Organisation' found that 80% government correct collecting taxation from younger masses as compared older people.
Moreover, another benefit which is get by youngest which can not be ignored. Primarily, High authorities spend most funding on uplifting education other than healthcare centre.To elaborate it, with large number of young adults high authorities build different education centre in distinct area of a nation from where youngest opt the education. quality of education. Apart from this, government also make a differ different strategy plan to inprove condition of a nation such as funding for transportation service, road safe, sports centre many other area. For instance, An Article published by 'The Hindustan Times' revealed that countries that had low rate of old people that nations give more priority to the uplifting other department centre than health centre areas.
on the other hand, one demerit minimum of older people that younger generation could not get life experience that how to deal with difficult circumstance in their lives if the older people are not there in a nations. Secondly it also contribute generations gap between the a individual
To sump up, although youngest give countless fruitful outcome to a nation like boosting increasing in economic growth in education cent institute along with other cent sectors. However they are unable to get life experience if they old people are low number rate in each and every nations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the economic benefits are clearly stated, the discussion on disadvantages is brief and lacks depth, particularly regarding the 'life experience' argument. The position is clear throughout, but the supporting examples, such as the 'World National Organisation' survey, appear generic and lack specific detail, which limits the overall persuasiveness of the argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that both sides of the argument are explored with equal depth and provide more concrete, realistic examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'on the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To sump up' and 'as a results'. Additionally, some sentences lack smooth transitions, making the flow feel a bit disjointed. Referencing is generally clear, but the internal structure of sentences occasionally hinders the logical progression of ideas. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking words will enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'boots up the nation growth' instead of 'boosts national economic growth' and 'youngest' used as a noun to refer to young adults. Some phrases are repetitive, and the attempt to use more academic vocabulary is hindered by incorrect usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on learning collocations and using more precise terminology would be highly beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this change will bringing'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it was witnessed in some nations the population growth'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with commas and capitalization. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralization.
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