Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable fact that in some of the nations, the population of young ones exceeds as compared to the number of older people. While some view this demographic profile advantageous because of energy possessed by the young population, other believe that it is not suitable due to the lack of experience among younger people. This essay will not only outline both viewpoints but will also provide conclusion before discussing that do advantages outweigh disadvantages.

To begin with, there are endless benefits for a nation to have more of young generation than old people. First and foremost is development of the economy. To explain this statement, due to more innovated ideas, creativity and knowledge about latest technology, the nation will be able to grow in various fields. Secondly, less burden on healthcare sector. To elaborate, it is often seen that youngsters are generally more healthier than the older people, due to which less burden is experienced by hospitals and other healthcare facilities. As a result government will have more time and resources to focus on the development of the country.

However, there are some demerits to keep in mind such as lack of experience and traditional knowledge. For instance, some fields require experience of the older generation in order to operate such as government sector, healthcare sector, leadership operations and so on. As a result it would be difficult for the younger generation to manage these sectors of work.

To conclude, although there are some benefits of large number of older population like experience yet the merits possessed by the younger beings like growth factor to the nation, less healthcare burden completely outweigh the advantages of having more of older or matured population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified both advantages and disadvantages, and your conclusion clearly states that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention 'development of the economy' and 'less burden on healthcare,' these points are explained in very general terms. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of how exactly a young population drives economic growth or how specific sectors are impacted by a lack of experience. The introduction is slightly repetitive, and the final sentence of the introduction is grammatically awkward, which slightly impacts the clarity of your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Secondly,' and 'However' to guide the reader through your arguments. While the progression is clear, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and flow; for instance, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'demographic profile,' 'innovated ideas,' and 'healthcare sector.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'young ones' is informal, and 'more healthier' is grammatically incorrect (the comparative 'healthier' does not take 'more'). You also use 'matured population' where 'older population' would be more natural. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid redundant phrasing. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the flexibility and precision required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, 'It is undeniable fact' is missing an article ('an'), and 'other believe' should be 'others believe.' The phrase 'discussing that do advantages outweigh disadvantages' is syntactically incorrect. Furthermore, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with articles and pluralization.

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