Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undeniable that in modern era the population growth is at higher rate which is the main concern of the economy . In this regards , the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults as compared with the number of older individuals .
To commence with , their are various benefits reasons for this the First and foremost reason is High Productivity . To explain it when their are young generation they use their mind for the development of their own as well as their nation . Secondly , health is also a reason like older generation need more health care development programs instead newly ones can use that finance for the development of other purposes such as education etc .
However , in further explanation when their is more young generation then older then one problem we can also face that is lack of experience as past individuals have full work experience to do a job but today generation want to complete work fast that"s why they introduce AI modals . The young generation doing day by day new experiments which cause serious problem to environment which led future li
To conclude , although their are several reasons are healthcare , innovation , large scale productivty etc yet work experience cannot be ignored .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you identify both advantages (productivity, healthcare savings) and disadvantages (lack of experience, environmental impact), the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples. The conclusion is abrupt and incomplete, and the final sentence is cut off mid-word, indicating a failure to fully address the prompt. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples and ensure the essay reaches the required length to allow for a full exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Secondly', and 'However', but these are often used mechanically. Paragraphing is present, but the logical flow is disrupted by the incomplete nature of the final paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'when their is more young generation then older then one problem', which makes the progression of ideas difficult to follow. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus that leads logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'development', 'reason', and 'generation' throughout the text. There are also frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'AI modals' (likely meaning models) and 'newly ones' (referring to young people). The vocabulary is generally sufficient to convey basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You should aim to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and economics to demonstrate a broader range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('their are various benefits'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as 'The young generation doing day by day new experiments which cause serious problem to environment'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While simple sentences are generally understandable, the attempts at more complex structures often result in errors that impede clarity. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would be a beneficial first step.
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