Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable that over-population become a pensive concern in this modern era. In this regards, some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, as compared to elder people. This essay will outline not only the advantages but also the disadvantages of this notion in the forthcoming fragments with a logical conclusion. i strongly believe that, advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

To commence with, there are several benefits of this statement. Firstly, one major advantage is that a large young population provides a strong workforce, whereas the young adults are generally more energetic, and willing to learn new skills. As a result, businesses can expand and industries can grow more and may cope up with high productivity. Secondly, the younger ones tends to be more innovative and are adaptable to the new technology. To elaborate, they are often responsible for creating new businesses, developing advanced technologies and finding solutions to social and environmental problems.

However, there are some disadvantages, if there are not enough employment opportunities, a large youth population may lead to high unemployment rates, poverty and social unrest. Governments may also face pressure to provide quality education, healthcare and housing for growing population. Nevertheless, these problems can be addressed through effective planning, investment in education and the creation of new jobs.

In conclusion, while having a relatively large number of young adults presents certain challenges. I believe the benefits are much greater. A young population strengthens the economy, encourages innovation and provides the workforce needed for future development, provided that governments implement suitable policies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, covering economic benefits like workforce strength and innovation, as well as challenges such as unemployment and government pressure. However, the development is somewhat brief. While the arguments are logical, they could be further extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The introduction is slightly off-topic by mentioning 'over-population' as a 'pensive concern,' which is not the focus of the prompt regarding the age structure of the population. Nevertheless, the main task requirements are met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with,' 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'However' are used effectively to guide the reader through the arguments. Paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The progression of ideas is clear, although some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical. Referencing is generally accurate, and the overall structure supports the development of the argument well.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task. There are some attempts at less common items, such as 'innovative,' 'adaptable,' and 'unrest.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'pensive concern' (which is misused here) and 'cope up with' (which should be 'cope with'). The phrase 'forthcoming fragments' is also unnatural in this context. While the range is sufficient to convey meaning, more precise and sophisticated vocabulary would be needed for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('some countries includes,' 'younger ones tends') and minor punctuation errors. The phrase 'over-population become a pensive concern' contains a tense error. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining the use of articles and verb tenses. The complexity of the structures is sufficient for a band 6, but greater accuracy is required for a higher score.

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