Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undeniable that in this modern era over population is become a pensive concern . In this regards the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults as compared to the number of older people . In this essay we will outline not only pons but also the cons of this notion which will outline in forthcoming fragment with logical conclusion .According to me advantages outweigh the disadvantages
To commence with there are several advantages of this notion . Firstly it help to boost the economy of the country . To explain it that young people work more as compared to the older people because older people do not work more due to her age youngster do work overtime to complete their needs . secondly health of young people are good in contrast with older once . to justify it that government should spend money on health policy for older generation then these money spend on other facilities . moreover due to advancement of technology young people can understand better to clarify it that aged people have not enough known about the technology so the young once use it easily .
however there are few drawback of this notion first and foremost are the lack of experienced people the older people have experience of her age . young people do not have a experience as
In conclusion although there are several advantages if this notion such as boost the economy and good health yet there are few drawbacks which can never be neglected .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development is limited. The arguments regarding economic growth and health are presented but lack depth or specific examples. The disadvantage section is particularly underdeveloped, ending abruptly without a full explanation of the lack of experience. The position is stated in the introduction, but the overall argument lacks the necessary extension and support required for a higher band. The essay structure is somewhat formulaic, and the conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points raised.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'secondly', and 'moreover', but these are often used mechanically. Paragraphing is present but the structure is weak; the second paragraph is a long, run-on collection of ideas, and the third paragraph is incomplete. There is a lack of logical progression between sentences, making the flow feel disjointed. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'this notion' without a clear antecedent. While the essay is readable, the lack of sophisticated linking and the poor paragraph structure hinder the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'pensive concern' (likely meant 'pressing concern'), 'pons but also the cons' (informal and misspelled), and 'older once' (should be 'older ones'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas precisely. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequent errors in word choice and the reliance on basic, sometimes misused, vocabulary restrict the score. More precise terminology related to demographics and economics is needed.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('it help to boost', 'health of young people are good'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, such as 'To explain it that young people work more as compared to the older people because older people do not work more due to her age youngster do work overtime'. The range of structures is limited to simple and occasionally faulty complex sentences. These errors are frequent and sometimes cause the reader to pause, though the general meaning remains discernible.
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