Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable that over-population become a pensive concern in this modern era. In this regards, some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared to elder people. This essay will outline not only the pros but also the cons of this notion is forthcoming fragments with logical conclusion. According to me, advantages for outweigh the disadvantages.

To commence with, there are several benefits of this statement. Firstly, high productivity provides a strong workforce. To explain it, the young adults are more energetic and willing to learn new skills. As a result, businesses can expand and industries can grow more and may cope up with high productivity. Secondly, the younger ones tends to be more innovative while adaptable to the new technology for betterment of economy. To elaborate it, they are often responsible for creating new businesses, developing advanced technologies and finding solutions to social and environmental problems.

However, there are some disadvantages such as if there are not enough employment opportunities a large youth population may lead to high unemployment rates, poverty and social unrest. Governments may also face pressure to provide quality education, health care and housing for growing population. Nevertheless, these problems can be addressed through effective planning, investment in education and the creation of new jobs.

To conclude, while having a relatively large number of young adults presents certain challenges. I believe the benefits are much greater. A young population strengthens the economy, encourages innovation and provides the workforce needed for future development, provided that governments implement suitable policies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages of a large young adult population. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant, such as economic productivity and innovation, and the counter-arguments regarding unemployment and government pressure are well-integrated. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat brief. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more specific examples or deeper analysis for each point, as some arguments feel slightly generalised. Overall, the task is fulfilled effectively with a clear, consistent viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'However' to guide the reader through your arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'this statement' in the second paragraph, which does not clearly refer back to the prompt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly point to their antecedents would enhance the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'productivity', 'innovative', 'adaptable', and 'social unrest'. There are some instances of slightly awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'pensive concern' (which is not the correct collocation for a social issue) and 'cope up with' (which is a phrasal verb error). While you attempt to use more sophisticated language, some choices are not entirely natural. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring that the words you use are appropriate for an academic context. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly despite these minor inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You show control over basic grammar, but there are several recurring errors. For example, subject-verb agreement issues appear, such as 'over-population become' and 'younger ones tends'. There are also minor errors in article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'In this regards' and 'advantages for outweigh'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with precision.

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