Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, todays the population of some nations including a large number of youngster compared with older people. It will positive affect on the socity. In my opinion the advantages are more and in this essay I will support my viewpoint in the ensuing paragraphs along with example.
One of the main advantages is for young adults, more youngster means a larger working population. To explain, young people are generally physically active and able to work in different sector. A large workforce can increased production and businesses. As result, this can contribute the economic growth and higher productivity. Furthermore, young people often bring creativity and new skills. To elaborate, they are usually more understand with modern technology and willing to adopt new ways of working. For example, many young entrepreneurs establish technology, businesses and develop new products or services.
Another advantages is that, a young people may reduce government expenditure on elderly care. To explain, older populations generally require more healthcare services and pension support. Therefore, governments can spend more money on education, infrastructure and economic development.
On the contrary, a large young population can create strong competition for jobs. To elaborate, if the economy cannot create enough employment opportunities many young adults may remain unemployed. For instance, every year many young people completed their graduation but economies have limited number of positions. Moreover, more young people create greater demand for universities and other public services. Governments may need to invest in educational institutions and transportation.
In conclusion, although a large young population can increase unemployment and place pressure on public services I believe that the advantages outweigh these drawbacks. A large workfre and innovation can contribute significantly to a country's economic growth and long-term dvelopment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding economic growth, innovation, and reduced government spending on the elderly are relevant and well-supported. The counter-argument regarding job competition and public service pressure is also effectively integrated. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive in places, and some points could be extended further to reach a higher band. The introduction is slightly weak due to grammatical errors, but the overall stance is clear and consistent. The essay successfully balances the advantages and disadvantages to reach a logical conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'To elaborate', 'On the contrary', and 'In conclusion' helps guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing (e.g., 'a young people' is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow). Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the structure is clear, which helps the reader follow the argument easily. Overall, the coherence is sufficient for a Band 6.5, though more sophisticated linking would be required for a higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'economic growth', 'entrepreneurs', and 'expenditure'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'youngster' used as a countable noun ('a large number of youngster') and 'more understand' instead of 'better at understanding'. These errors do not impede communication but indicate a limited range of vocabulary. To improve, the student should focus on collocations and the correct grammatical form of words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'A large workforce can increased production' (should be 'increase'), 'contribute the economic growth' (missing 'to'), and 'a young people' (incorrect article usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some errors with comma placement. The range of structures is sufficient, but the frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.
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