Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, todays the population of some nations including a large number of youngster compared with older people. It will positive affect on the socity. In my opinion the advantages are more and in this essay I will support my viewpoint in the ensuing paragraphs along with example.

One of the main advantages is for young adults, more youngster means a larger working population. To explain, young people are generally physically active and able to work in different sector. A large workforce can increased production and businesses. As result, this can contribute the economic growth and higher productivity. Furthermore, young people often bring creativity and new skills. To elaborate, they are usually more understand with modern technology and willing to adopt new ways of working. For example, many young entrepreneurs establish technology businesses, and develop new products or services.

Another advantages is that, a young people may reduce government expenditure on elderly care. To explain, older populations generally require more healthcare services and pension support. Therefore, governments can spend more money on education, infrastructure and economic development.

On the contrary, a large young population can create strong competition for jobs. To elaborate, if the economy cannot create enough employment opportunities many young adults may remain unemployed. For instance, every year many young people completed their graduation but economies have limited number of positions. Moreover, more young people create greater demand for universities and other public services. Governments may need to invest in educational institutions and transportation.

In conclusion, although a large young population can increase unemployment and place pressure on public services I believe that the advantages outweigh these drawbacks. A large workforce and innovation can contribute significantly to a country's economic growth and long-term development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, covering economic growth, innovation, and government expenditure, while also acknowledging the counter-argument regarding unemployment. However, some points are slightly under-developed; for instance, the link between young populations and 'modern technology' could be supported with more specific detail. The structure is logical, and the position is maintained throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting example is fully explained to demonstrate a deeper level of critical thinking.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To explain', 'Furthermore', 'On the contrary', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and sentence-level cohesion, such as the awkward phrasing in the opening sentence. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the essay flows well enough to be easily followed by the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'entrepreneurs' and 'expenditure'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'youngster' (used as a countable noun in the plural sense) and 'more understand' (should be 'more understanding of'). Some phrasing is repetitive, and the range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('a large workforce can increased production') and article usage ('a young people'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas appearing in several places. While the errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that complex structures are constructed with correct verb forms and prepositions.

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