Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, the population of youngsters is relatively large compared with the senior citizens in many countries. While some people consider it as a disadvantage, I believe the overall impact is largely advantageous because they are more involved in technology, and they are mentally and physically stronger in comparison to older people. In this essay, I shall explain how a great number of teenagers compared to older people have large advantage outcomes with minor drawbacks.

Firstly, teenagers are more active on social media and AI technology in comparison to older people, they have creative minds to discover advancements in technology. This leads to a positive impact for country involvement in technology. Japan as an example, where teenagers quickly learn new technology and with the help of their creative minds, they also find bugs in AI tools, which helps the country to control financial loss. In addition, youngsters are more hard-working and physically strong in comparison to senior people, they have the potential to work really hard to overcome financial loss and achieve early success. Thus, at a young age, they start businesses and work more than 60 hours per week to make them successful.

However, a large number of young people does raise a valid concern. This is mainly because they do not have business experience, and have no experience about business planning, hence highly risk of financial loss. For instance, in a country like Libya, where youngsters started businesses in 2020, but due to lack of experience, 90% of businesses faced massive financial loss, which badly impacted the country's economy. That said, this drawback is relatively limited compared to the benefits above.

In conclusion, although in some countries the population of teenagers is relatively large in comparison to older people, which has a notable drawback because young people do not have business experience, I believe the advantages outweigh this, primarily because they are mentally and physically stronger, and involved in advanced technology compared to older people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the focus on technological advancement and the counter-argument regarding business experience. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding 'physical strength' is a bit simplistic and lacks depth. Furthermore, the essay tends to over-generalize by equating 'youngsters' with 'teenagers' throughout, whereas the prompt refers to 'young adults'. While the main points are supported with examples like Japan and Libya, the analysis could be more nuanced to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the position taken.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and the disadvantage. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there is occasional repetition of phrasing (e.g., 'in comparison to older people' is used multiple times). Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive markers to avoid a repetitive structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. The student uses some relevant terms like 'advancements', 'financial loss', and 'business planning'. However, there is a reliance on basic vocabulary and repetitive phrasing, such as 'youngsters' and 'older people'. There are also minor collocation issues, such as 'large advantage outcomes' and 'highly risk of financial loss', which sound unnatural. To improve, the student should aim for more precise collocations and a broader range of academic vocabulary to express ideas with greater nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'highly risk of financial loss' (should be 'high risk') and 'a country like Libya, where youngsters started businesses... but due to lack of experience, 90% of businesses faced...' (a sentence fragment/run-on issue). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are comma splices present, such as '...in comparison to older people, they have creative minds...'. These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band for accuracy.

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