Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The population of the young adults in several countries has been recorded to exceed the number of older citizens by significant amounts. The advantages of this population shift outweigh the disadvantages because it is boosting the economy of the nation and incrementing the working potential of the population.
The older citizens are the pillar of every nation as they are the one who trains the young adults of the the society. Their experience in the fields of medicine, research, business and education serves as a stream of knowledge that is delivered to their pupils either from the family or unknown to run the society because they can't perform their activities with the efficiency, passion and confidence as the youngsters can do.
On the contrary, young generation are more energized, eager to learn, and more confident. These qualities can help the young adults to secure the opportunity to serve the country in various field. As evidenced by a research carried out by a group of young adults at Nigeria that has developed an new biomolecule which is responsible for transcribing the DNA, it was not the DNA transcriptase who transcribes DNA but the new molecule they discovered. By proving the 200 years myth wrong, the group of young adults ensures that they can perform their work efficiently and can replace the older people so that elderly can spend their time in relief.
To conclude, I would like to state that it is a positive change to be having more adults than older residents for a country as long as they can utilize the experience of the older people to train the coming generation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The second paragraph, intended to discuss the role of older citizens, is somewhat confusing and contradictory, as it suggests they are 'pillars' but then claims they lack efficiency and passion compared to youngsters. The example provided in the third paragraph regarding a 'new biomolecule' and a '200 years myth' is scientifically unclear and lacks relevance to the broader socio-economic argument. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported argument that directly relates to the advantages or disadvantages of a youthful population.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into four paragraphs, which is a good structure. However, the logical progression within paragraphs is sometimes weak. For instance, the transition between the importance of older citizens and the benefits of young people is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the contrary' and 'To conclude', but some are used mechanically or inappropriately, such as 'unknown to run the society'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of the argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would enhance the coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are instances of awkward word choices, such as 'incrementing the working potential' and 'spend their time in relief'. Some phrases are repetitive or slightly unnatural, such as 'the one who trains'. While the student attempts to use more academic vocabulary, the lack of precision sometimes hinders the clarity of the argument. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and expanding your range of vocabulary to express complex ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'the population of the young adults', 'the one who trains', 'the the society', and 'at Nigeria'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors like articles and prepositions, as well as ensuring subject-verb agreement, will significantly improve the quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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