Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Practice Test 2

Cambridge IELTS 12

Task 2

Your Answer & Feedback

Band Scores

Task Achievement

5.0

Coherence & Cohesion

5.5

Lexical Resource

5.0

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.0

Your Writing

252 words

Grammar: 7

Punctuation: 1

Style: 1

Spelling: 2

It is undeniable that increase in population has become a very important concern in today's era. At the present time it is noticeable that the population in most countries include more of young adults as compared to older people. According to me it is a optimistic approach whereas it has some detrimental effects that will outline in the forthcoming fragments with a logical conclusion.

To commence with, large population of young adults has many advantages. First and foremost is that young people are more active and work more. To explain it, young adults have more energy levels as compared to older people and they can work more and survive hectic amd heavy work. Secondly, new generation understands tec nology better. To justify it, older people have less catching ability and they take time to learn new things when compared to young ones. Moreover, young people have more knowledge about new things.

However, there are some disadvantages of less population of older people. The prime one is that older people have more life experience than younger. To clarify it, older people have more knowledge about life and give many lessons to children that young people do not have and older people can give more time to young children as compared to young ones as they have more hectic lifestyle.

To conclude, although there are many advantages of having more young adults such as used to technology and more energy levels yet the disadvantages of having less older people cannot be neglected at any cost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but remains quite superficial. While you identify both advantages and disadvantages, the ideas are under-developed. For instance, the argument that older people have 'life experience' is mentioned but not explained in a way that links it effectively to the societal impact of a young population. The position is clear, but the development of arguments lacks depth and specific examples. To improve, you should expand on your points by explaining the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims, ensuring each paragraph provides a more thorough analysis of the implications of the demographic shift.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. You rely on simple transitional phrases like 'To commence with' and 'To justify it,' which can feel repetitive. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate; for example, the phrase 'whereas it has some detrimental effects' is used incorrectly to connect your position. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your referencing (e.g., 'the former,' 'this trend') is precise to help the reader follow your logic more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. Phrases like 'more active,' 'work more,' and 'new things' are used frequently, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'catching ability' (referring to learning) and 'hectic and heavy work.' To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to demographics and sociology. Focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—rather than just individual synonyms, as this will make your writing sound more natural and sophisticated.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles ('increase in population'), subject-verb agreement errors ('population... include'), and awkward sentence structures ('that will outline in the forthcoming fragments'). While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often faulty or contain punctuation errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction first. Ensure you are using articles correctly and check for subject-verb agreement. Practicing the use of relative clauses and conditional structures will help you move toward a wider range of grammatical forms.

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