Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults has become a common topic of discussion. While some people believe that this is beneficial for country. I believe this opinion because young people are more energic and enthusiastic . This mean that they can imrove themselves and country . They are expolere the world and life and I think they aware a lot of things that going wrong . They are braver than the old adults and they can talk easily anything about everything !

For example, when young people notice unfair situations in their country, they are more willing to speak up and try to change them. In contrast, some older people may not want to talk about these issues because they no longer have the energy or motivation to do so.

Another problem is , old people need help all the time and somtimes they have health problem and young adults care them because this is their responsible .Furtheremore Young people have self awarness. İf number of young adults less than the older people that woulde be terrible because works dont get ready on time people start complaining everything because they get bored .

İn addition som people beleive that older people have more expereince the the young adults however this beleif is compeletly wrong because There are lot of people in the world and they have diffrent life , brain , experience and lifestyle . So they have energy enthusiastic and expereince consequently they beneficial for world

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population, but the development is inconsistent. While you provide some reasons, such as energy and social awareness, the arguments are often repetitive or lack depth. For instance, the claim that older people lack motivation is a generalization that is not well-supported. The discussion regarding the disadvantages is quite weak and confusing, particularly the point about older people needing care. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-explained point that directly answers the 'advantages vs. disadvantages' question. The conclusion is also somewhat disjointed and does not clearly summarize your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by unclear transitions and disjointed sentences. While you use some cohesive devices like 'For example' and 'In addition', their usage is often mechanical or incorrectly placed. The referencing is sometimes confusing, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between the arguments is difficult to follow. To improve, focus on using transition words to link ideas within and between paragraphs more naturally. Ensure that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one to create a cohesive argument rather than a list of loosely related thoughts.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', and 'people'. There are frequent spelling errors, such as 'energic' instead of 'energetic', 'imrove' for 'improve', and 'expolere' for 'explore'. These errors, combined with awkward phrasing like 'they can talk easily anything about everything', occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and socio-economic impacts. Focus on accurate spelling and learning collocations, which are words that naturally go together, to make your writing sound more professional and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that affect readability. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'population... include'), missing articles, and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'they are aware' instead of 'they are aware of'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'If number of young adults less than the older people that woulde be terrible'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces missing before commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors before finalizing your work.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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