Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The population of some countries includes a large amount of young adults, as compared to the older people at present times.

To my perspective younger adults definitely outweigh the disadvantages of this situation. They are more adaptive and untestable to young generation in comparison to older people. Younger adults are more likely to adapt the new technology, they easily understand the latest versions of old things and most importantly they respect the ideas, thinking and perspectives of new generation. They are ready to leave the old traditions which have no base left in recent times.

For instance my aunt is more understandable as compared to my mother. She respects that am new generation and I have my own opinions and needs. She understands me well in my every problem on the other hand my mother does not understand such things.

Same with my younger teachers, they understand the new generation and are more likely to solve the issues of young generation.

My most favorite things about younger adults are they are more focused on their health rather than the older generation. They are more into fitness. They understand the psychological issues of the youth such as depression, anxiety and panic attacks caused the old family traumas. Younger adults are more into new traditions and games. They are more socialized and most likely they have more will power to deal with older people and new youth. They have the will to work hard and grow more.

So definitely younger adults outweigh the disadvantages of many situations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but lacks the depth required for a higher band. While you take a clear position, your arguments are largely based on personal anecdotes (e.g., your aunt and mother) rather than broader societal or economic analysis, which is expected in an Academic Task 2 essay. The ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack a balanced discussion of the disadvantages, which the prompt specifically asks you to weigh. To improve, focus on macro-level impacts such as economic productivity, innovation, and the burden on social services, rather than individual family dynamics.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions between ideas are often abrupt or missing, making the flow feel disjointed. For example, the jump from discussing technology to your aunt, and then to fitness, lacks a cohesive link. You rely on simple sentence starters like 'For instance' and 'Same with', which are repetitive. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') to connect your sentences and paragraphs more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You use some informal phrasing, such as 'no base left' and 'more into fitness', which is not appropriate for an academic essay. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'untestable' (which does not fit the context) and 'amount of young adults' (should be 'number of'). Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations and precise terminology would significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'younger adults... are more focused'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'caused the old family traumas'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like article usage and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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