Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era some countries are populated with relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. These countries will have an efficient rate of growth in economy. There are numbers of advantages which will be showered on these nations, there are also some drawbacks of this situation but assets will outnumber these disadvantages. First of all, the nations with large community of adults will have alot of benefits in every aspect. These young people are way more active than older people and they are good in learning and performing different tasks. Furthermore, adults will participate in every field more actively and they are keen and want innovations they try to discover new things which will be beneficial for the entire nation. They have the ability and potential to do difficult tasks and they can also do work entire day as they are fit. They will work progressively for the betterment of the nation. Simply, as young people have more potential and energy than older they are better in performing difficult tasks and they can navigate the harsh situations easily. Moreover, young people are the future of any nation and if they got the proper opportunity to work for their nation they will not spare that chance and as they are people of modern age they want their nation to compete globally and they will work for this purpose day and night. They are the ones who will shift the economy of their country to a majestic level. Everything have some drawbacks, if a nation have less number of older people who are well experienced in every sort of field that nation will face many harsh conditions, but these situations can be handeled as the young people are often good at learning new things more efficiently. For instance, China contain more adults in its population and they are very keen about everything and as we look China is the one of strongest economy in world and they are inventing many new things in the market. In conclusion, adults are the future of every nation they can undeniably alter the fate of nation because they are very realistic and they think beyond limits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development is somewhat repetitive. You argue that young people are 'active' and 'fit' multiple times without introducing distinct, nuanced points. While you take a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the discussion of disadvantages is quite brief and lacks depth. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph introduces a unique, well-supported idea rather than restating the same point about energy and innovation. The example of China is relevant but could be better integrated to explain the specific economic mechanisms at play.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'First of all,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion.' However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. For example, the jump between the benefits of young people and the mention of China as an example is abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are quite long and lack internal cohesion, making them feel like a list of ideas rather than a fluid argument. Improving the use of referencing and varied linking words would enhance the logical progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but the word choice is often simplistic or repetitive. Phrases like 'showered on these nations' and 'majestic level' are slightly unnatural in an academic context. You rely heavily on basic descriptors like 'good,' 'difficult,' and 'harsh.' To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations. For instance, instead of saying 'shift the economy to a majestic level,' you could use 'stimulate economic growth' or 'drive national prosperity.' There are also minor errors in word formation, such as 'handeled' (handled).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Everything have some drawbacks,' 'China contain more adults') and article usage (e.g., 'compared with number of older people'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of consistent control over basic grammar prevents a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that articles are used correctly before countable nouns. More variety in complex sentence structures would also be beneficial.

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