Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary era, the number of younger adults in many countries are comparatively higher compared with older citizens. This essay will incline more towards its merits and will not overlook its demerits with relevant examples in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Commencing with the foremost benefit is that countries get better economic growth by having more adults than old people. Younger generation contribute to research and development of country, as well as they contribute in making their society peaceful. For example, according to the survey of United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, countries in which the population of younger generation is more compared to older people, the ratio of their economic growth is comparatively higher.

Another significant advantage is that younger adults will make contribution to innovation and entrepreneurship to the country. Younger adults will quickly adapt the technology and make better innovations such as technological advancement and robotic industry. subsequently, they will also promote their countries value by making improvements in entrepreneurship. For instance, nowadays adults become more social in their life also sport persons represent their country at the global level.

On the other hand, the most significant issue is that individuals will suffer from unemployment and job competition. If the country has more population of adults they cannot provide jobs and better facilities to them, because this competition in job market will increase as well unemployment ratio also increase.

In conclusion, there are disadvantages such as unemployment of adults will be hindered, however benefits such as better lifestyle, economic growth, and innovation in technology can improve overall impact of the country in the globe.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as economic growth and innovation, though some points are slightly under-developed. For instance, the link between younger populations and 'peaceful' societies is asserted but not explained. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and slightly confusing in its phrasing ('unemployment of adults will be hindered'). To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more specific reasoning rather than just listing benefits. Overall, the response is well-focused on the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Commencing with', 'Another significant advantage', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'subsequently, they will also promote their countries value'. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a solid band 6.5 or 7.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'innovation', 'entrepreneurship', and 'technological advancement'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'promote their countries value' (should be 'values') and 'unemployment of adults will be hindered' (which conveys the opposite of the intended meaning). The range is sufficient to communicate, but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding the use of collocations and more sophisticated academic phrasing would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the number of younger adults... are' should be 'is') and article usage (e.g., 'development of country' should be 'the country'). There are also issues with pluralization and word forms, such as 'younger generation is more' (should be 'larger'). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic agreement and article consistency, and try to incorporate more varied, error-free complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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