Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
These days, it is a quite common that At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. I tend to believe this trend simultaneously provide both benefits and drawbacks. However disadvantages outweigh the advantages. In following paragraphs, I am going to prove them to the last farthing.
There appear a lot of positive points in terms of increase the young people help many sides in the countries. The principle reason for this can be young adults improve some countries economic growth. For instance, it goes without saying that young adult learn diffrent type of new new business skill that's help to economic growht easily. A part from this point young adult are any type of work easily. In other words, young adult grow means lots of workers. Last but far away from the least increase young adult helps they adapt easily to new technology. To stress the matter up many successful startups are created by young entrepreneurs.
On the contrary, there exist a number of negetive point in case of number of oldest people are not found to work easily. Firstly, older people can't learn new skill easily. To clarify it is widely recognized that if there are not enough jobs, unemployment rises. Secondly, they can not do hard work. To illustrate, none can deny the fact that this can increase poverty and crime. Finally, Government must spend more on schools, universities and housing. To demonstrates, none can deny the fact that public services may become overcrowded.
To sum up, as far as my explanation is concerned regarding, a large young population may create challenges such as unemployment and pressure on public services. I believe its benefits, insluding economis growth, innovation and productive workforce, outweigh the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt, but the position is inconsistent. In the introduction, you state that disadvantages outweigh the advantages, but in the conclusion, you argue the opposite. This contradiction makes your overall stance unclear. While you provide some relevant ideas regarding economic growth and public services, the development is often superficial. For instance, the claim that young adults 'do any type of work easily' is a broad generalization that lacks supporting evidence. To improve, ensure your main arguments are clearly stated in the introduction and consistently supported throughout the body paragraphs, avoiding contradictory statements in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by the contradictory conclusion. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'To sum up', their usage is sometimes mechanical or misused. For example, 'To stress the matter up' is not a standard transition. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word-choice errors, such as 'prove them to the last farthing' (an idiom used incorrectly) and 'negetive point in case of number of oldest people'. You rely on basic vocabulary and repeat words like 'young adult' and 'easily' frequently. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more sophisticated synonyms. For example, instead of 'increase the young people', use 'a growing youth population'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('young adult learn'), missing articles, and incorrect word forms ('economic growht'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, and some sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as 'There appear a lot of positive points in terms of increase the young people help many sides'. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on proofreading for basic errors and practicing more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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