Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Currently, cetizentry in some states have large proportion of yound adults than elderly people. Although, this trend may creates certain challenges however i believes that the advantages are far greater than the disadvantages because it promotes economic development and leads toward innovation.

One major benifits of having young population is stengthen the workforce. Young people are more energetic, willing to learn different skills. As the result, they increase productivity and develop tge economic growth. For instance, in many states that have large number of work population have greater production and enterpenureship. Furthermore, if the employment rate increases this affect the the country GDP and goverment have to collect more amount of texes which can be invested in the welfare of the citizens.

Other benifit is that young adults are more technophiles then the elder ones so they become the firms more competitive in the world market. In addition, young people also develop start ups and develop creative solution to the problems related to the technology. However there are also some drawback of that if government fails to provide numourus work opportunities a massive ratio of unemployment may developed. Furthermore, more compititon in the job market nay develop the sense of stress and social injustice. Neverthless these issues are addressed through appropriate government policies.

In conclusion,while a youthful population may present certain difficulties, I strongly believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. With proper planning and investment, young adults can become a powerful force for economic prosperity, innovation, and long-term national development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population. You clearly state your position that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention economic growth and innovation, these points could be supported with more specific, concrete examples rather than general statements. The discussion of disadvantages is brief and could be expanded to provide a more balanced view. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main idea is fully extended with clear reasoning and illustrative evidence, rather than relying on broad assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. There are also instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is always clear and natural. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economic development', 'innovation', and 'technophiles'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'cetizentry', 'yound', 'benifits', 'stengthen', 'enterpenureship', 'texes', and 'numourus'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. Additionally, some word choices are slightly awkward, such as 'work population' instead of 'workforce'. To improve, you should focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and expanding your repertoire of collocations to express ideas with more precision and fewer errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('this trend may creates', 'this affect the the country GDP') and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex structures. Careful proofreading would help eliminate many of these minor slips.

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