Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent time, the number of young adults is relatively larger than the older individuals in some nation. Despite some critics may argue that older individuals can contribute more to country, I ultimately believe that young adults are backbone of nation.

In many countries youth are neglecting migration as they believe that development of country come first and they are the one who can contribute to develop nation. In Europe the youth adult's migration is rate is minimum in past decades and there have been lot of innovation in scientific research and development of infrastructures. As youth are contributing enough to own nation we consider as advantage for the nation.

Statistics shows that adults are more active than older folks in terms of work and will power which is easily noticeable too. This can contribute to economy of nation too as young individuals can earn and pay taxes whereas aged people cannot participate actively as younger ones. Also, nation have to separate more budget on health and safety for old peoples.

Sometimes less migration rate can also affect in economy of a nation. In most of the South Asian countries the main source of income is remittance as there is larger population than available jobs. This can be proved as problematic for nation as rise of unemployed individuals is obviously a drawback for the nation.

To sum up, despite some people believe that due to rise of population of young adults increases competition and there will be lack of opportunity, I firmly believe young adult can outperform older individuals in most of the sectors which outweigh all the disadvantages of their rising population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a large young adult population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you clearly state your position that young adults are the 'backbone of the nation,' the discussion regarding the disadvantages is less focused, shifting into a discussion about remittance and unemployment in South Asia rather than directly addressing the societal implications of a demographic imbalance. To reach a higher band, ensure that every paragraph directly supports your central argument and provides more balanced, analytical depth regarding the trade-offs between a young and aging population.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In many countries,' 'Also,' and 'To sum up,' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For instance, the jump from discussing European innovation to the economic contribution of young adults lacks a smooth logical bridge. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'this' in the third paragraph, which could refer to multiple preceding ideas. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'innovation,' 'infrastructure,' and 'remittance' appropriately. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'In recent time' (should be 'In recent times'), 'youth are neglecting migration' (which is unclear), and 'separate more budget' (should be 'allocate more budget'). These errors occasionally hinder the precision of your argument. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that your word choices are natural and contextually accurate rather than relying on direct translations or slightly imprecise terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'Despite some critics may argue' (should be 'Although some critics may argue') and 'nation have to separate' (should be 'nations have to allocate'). There are also frequent issues with articles ('the backbone of nation' should be 'the backbone of a nation') and pluralization ('old peoples' should be 'older people'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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