Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, population of some countries includes a relatively large number of grown-ups, compared with the number of elderly people. While this situation brings certain undeniable drawbacks, I wholeheartedly believe that its merits outweigh its demerits.
Admittedly, there are several distinct drawbacks associated with the reducing number of older people.Chief among these is insufficient care of the immature children, which can severely disrupt the growth of the childrens. One of the main reason behind this is, the young parents are generally busy in there occupation so they let there parents to take care there babies. A clear example can be seen in China, where 80 % gen z were grown up by the care of there grandparents.
Nevertheless, these drawbacks are eclipsed by the profound advantages that larger number of the young adults provides. Most notably the larger number of working young adults generate substantial development. By allowing more young adults in the working industries it opens unpresidented opportunities like development of new sectors and new industries. Moreover, the young adults are generally more advanced than the older people. A pertinent example is that the technological boom of the artificial intelligents is mainly caused by the highly skilled young researchers. Though young adults are relatively more busy in working, several childcare facilities can be made to take care the babies of the working parents.
In conclusion, despite valid concern regarding the moral education and family support by the older people the overall trajectory of the situation is positive. Because young adults substantially fosters technological development and working power, the benefits clearly outweigh the downsides.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. The argument regarding the 'immature children' is slightly confusing, as the prompt focuses on a high ratio of young adults to older people, not necessarily a lack of childcare. The example regarding China is relevant but lacks precision. While the position is clear throughout, the supporting arguments could be more logically linked to the specific demographic shift described in the prompt. The essay covers all parts of the task, but some points are under-developed or rely on generalizations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Admittedly', 'Nevertheless', and 'In conclusion', which provide a logical flow. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as the pronoun usage in the second paragraph. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the connection between the demographic shift and the specific economic outcomes could be more tightly managed to improve the overall coherence of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'grown-ups' instead of 'young adults', 'immature children' (which is redundant), and 'artificial intelligents' instead of 'artificial intelligence'. Spelling errors like 'unpresidented' and 'fosters' (subject-verb agreement) also detract from the quality. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary, the inaccuracies in collocation and word form limit the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as '80 % gen z were grown up by the care of there grandparents' and 'young adults substantially fosters technological development'. The misuse of 'there' instead of 'their' occurs multiple times, indicating a lack of proofreading. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors in basic grammar, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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